Defending the Homestead

"Who do you think you are?!" Sandra bellowed. Vaguely, the china in the cupboard rattled with her fury. The cat, Mr. Bonzo, was startled from it's slumber and crashed through the house for no apparent reason.

"I don't know what you mean," Dan said, flinching slightly.

"I leave you alone for three days, and you completely trash the house!" Sandra shouted, pointing to the pile of pots and pans in the corner of the living room. The remains of a pillow chose that minute to slide off the ceiling fan. The stuffing landed in a large pool of melted jello that just happened to be sitting on the coffee table. "Just look at this place! It's a complete wreck!"

"Now, Sandra," Dan sighed. "I have a perfectly reasonable explanation for all of this."

"Really?" Sandra shouted. She put her hands on her hips and dropped her designer purse on the ground hard, but not hard enough to scuff the leather. "Well, I don't think I want to hear your stupid excuses. Where are the kids?"

"Child services," Dan said. Sandra turned a deep purple and Dan raised his hands defensively. "Lemme explain, honneybunch,"Sandra stuttered a few uninteligble phrases and clenched her fists at her sides. Dan took this as his grand opening and hurriedly rushed into his story before his wife could recover.

"This whole mess," Dan started, "Is a direct result of a robot invasion. I saw it on the TV, Sandra, and I knew that it was all up to me to defend the house from any kind of bad metal men that tried to invade."

Sandra took several deep breaths and forced herself to calm down. "What are you talking about?" She said, an irritated hand rubbing the space between her eyes. "What robots, Dan?"