Advice for the Unemployed: How to Quit Your Job

I confess.

I, Notes from Joblessville, have misrepresented myself to you, good reader. I must admit it. When baring one's soul, I believe honesty is King. Of course, in my fiefdom, gross exaggeration and manipulation of reality also play the role of Court Jester. That aside, I feel I must be honest and tell you that in the midst of these musings on my life among the unemployed, I was actually employed. For 2 whole weeks. I am so very, very sorry.

Fear, panic and the need for cold, hard cash caused me to accept a job in the position I swore I would never hold again (Executive Assistant) for pay I would have sneered at 6 months ago (it almost cost me money to take this position) for an employer I instinctively knew was a tyrant and a nut case (Oy).

As I have been unemployed for some time, I heard the following ad nauseam:

"It's a job!"

"It's a job in this economy!"

"It's a job with a paycheck in this economy!"

"It's a job with a paycheck in this economy, you great, lazy mountain. Take it!"

None of the above was new to me. I've pretty much heard it all. I've been unemployed twice in my life. Oddly enough, both times during two major economic downturns we've suffered in the 21^st Century.

The first time, the convention planning company I worked for went under and I was laid off. The unemployment rate here in The Big City rose to 7%. That's a lot of percents looking for a job! I couldn't find work to save my life.

Desperate, I finagled my resume (Get-A-Job Pundits, cover your eyes!), and created the monster I am today; an Executive Assistant. I got a position in less than 3 weeks.

To say that was a Bad Decision is an understatement, and I've been paying for it ever since. I couldn't possibly have been more ill-suited for the role. As mentioned in a previous article, I really stink at being an E.A. That probably explains why I recently became an unemployed person for the second time during what has been described as a genuine "recession". Hence, the dreaded words, "in this economy."

Succumbing to the general anxiety sweeping the nation, I took the job.

It quickly became apparent that I'd made a Big Mistake.