South Pole Elves: An Overlooked Element of Santa's Global Workforce

For decades, Americans and the better part of the Christian world have spread tales of vibrant elves aiding Santa Clause during the holidays. "But the real story hasn't been told," says Peter Wiggley, a South Pole Elf and employee of Santa's global workforce Happy At Work. "For too many years, the world has been fed this lie. Children are told that all elves live at the North Pole and are happy by nature, and it's just not right. They [the children] need to know that elves, specifically South Pole Elves, are people too, and just like you, they get angry and need to blow off steam. But the culture of Christmas just won't let the truth come to light."

Wiggley is one of a growing number of South Pole Elves who are rising up in dismay against employer Happy at Work. The elves beef? Foremost, S.P.E. feel they are discriminated against in the workforce because of their genetic disposition toward grumpiness and angry outbursts. "Would you ask a possum to not be nasty and detestable? Of course not because you know can't ask people to change the essence of their being. We, South Pole Elves, will never live up to the ideal of the North Pole Elf, and we don't believe we should be forced to" says Vinney Chumpler, spokesman for the Southern Federation Promoting Elf Rights in the Workplace (SFPERW).

S.P.E. believe they are paid less than their counterparts to the north. Happy at Work maintains that N.P.E. are paid slightly more because they must travel extensively with Santa during the holiday season. Chumpler thinks the N.P.E.'s greater involvement in public relations is part of a larger problem. "Why can't South Pole Elves represent Santa's empire in public? It's because we aren't naturally bubbly. I think its time the world see South Pole Elves for what they truly are: a vital element of Santa's workforce. Without South Pole Elves, whose work accounts for 6o percent of toy manufacturing worldwide, there wouldn't be Christmas, toys, or anything good," says Chumpler.