Top 10 Christmas Gifts for Any Soccer Player

I've seen and read several "Top 10" lists, which are well and good for any novice soccer player. But the players I know and associate with would rather have somebody put a well-intentioned cleat to their skull than actually watch "GOAL: The Dream Begins," which is about as useful to a real soccer player as "Kicking and Screaming" is a legitimate soccer player's movie. I mean, "Iron" Mike Ditka, the famed football coach, is the centerpiece of "Kicking", for Chrissakes!!!

If you want a real soccer movie replete with actual story line, plot and unreal talent pool, go rent "Victory." Or better yet, watch "Once in a Lifetime," the New York Cosmos documentary from ESPN. Because if you really want to see where American soccer is headed in the next 10 years, then that documentary will provide all soccer moms and novice players with a Cliffs Notes of Major League Soccer in 2010. Without further adieu then, my top 10 Xmas gifts for any soccer player, and price is not an object.

1. The David Beckham USA Soccer Camp in Los Angeles

If any soccer player actually told me that they would rather not attend this one-week camp held every summer in L.A., I would tell them to have their head examined. Though "Becks" is more known for his metrosexuality, flashy wardrobe and escapades in the tabloids with wife Victoria Adams, also known as "Posh Spice", the fact is the man played for Manchester United (you know, the team Freddy Adu just tried out for and probably didn't make...), is playing at Real Madrid (though the role is diminished) and was a team captain for England for nearly a decade.