Why Get Married? The Many Reasons Why Marriage is Flawed

By Arun Matharoo, published Dec 19, 2006
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When recently asked whether I plan on getting married one day or staying single for the rest of my life, I replied without hesitation by saying I plan on staying single. After a while, I began thinking, trying to come up with any sort of solid reasoning which upholds the concept of marriage. Of course afterwards, I get asked, why do I want to stay single, and not ever marry? I reply to this by saying, more accurate is, why would I ever want to get married? I never get a real response to that question, so in this essay, I will analyze only a few of the reasons that I got which uphold the concept of marriage.

I've been pondering the reasons that two people would want to get married, and I feel that the concept of marriage is ludicrous. Here I will attempt to analyze the reasons that were thrown at me for why marriage is a sane idea, and then I'll explain why I think each of them is not as sane as it seems. Since chess is the basis of all of my thinking on anything, I will use chess examples to maybe help illustrate what I'm getting at. The format for this essay is the statement of the reason, an explanation of what it means, then my analysis of its flaw, followed by a chess analogy to illustrate my analysis.

1. If you love someone, you should marry them.
The thinking behind this statement is that when you declare your love for someone, your saying it is going to stay forever, so marriage should naturally follow since it cannot hinder this thinking but only solidify it.

 
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Game Over!

Credit: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/marriage/-/pv_design_prod/pg_1/p_storeid.78023508/pNo_78023508/id_14695

Copyright: http://www.cafepress.com/buy/marriage/-/pv_design_prod/pg_1/p_storeid.78023508/pNo_78023508/id_14695

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Takeaways
  • Logical perspective on marriage
  • Chess analogies for illustration purposes of ideas
  • Informal writing style for ease of reading
Did You Know?
More than 50% of all marriages end in divorce. Let us try to figure out why.
Comments
Showing Comments 1 - 10 of 10
 
 
Wow. Great article! I have often thought about this question "why do ppl get married... why do i want to get married?... Oh wait! thats just society telling me that i should... thats whats expected." Your article made me really think about it and wow... i dont want to EVER get married.. thats just stupid.

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Posted on 03/13/2008 at 12:03:47 AM

 
This article critiques marriage based on the assumption that people should stay together only because they are "in love".... and staying together for any other reason (i.e. marriage) is bad. The author essentially advocates relationships based on love rather than formal, codified commitment. Unfortunately, "love" is a very fluid concept and it really boils down to "warm fuzzy feelings for someone else". The problem is that intimate male-female relationships typically involve sex. Perhaps the author has not considered the following: 1) Sex is the leading cause of pregnancy among women. 2) The most common side-effect of pregnancy is child birth. 3) Child birth results in a child entering the world. 4) EVERY child needs and deserves a father and a mother that will do everything within their power to maintain a cohesive family unit FOR THE DURATION OF THEIR LIFETIME to raise and protect that child. It's not just about love... it's about protecting the future of our childre

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Posted on 03/04/2008 at 12:03:00 PM

 
The reason why marriage was written into society's state and religious laws (religion is just a means of controlling a populace by the state) was to protect the women financially incase the man stays with her until she's 40 and then dumps her for a younger model. If this happens then she would be left with no chance of getting another husband and the state would have to provide for her and maybe her kids. The state doesn't want to pay. I hate to say it, but it's got nothing to do with love or religion or kids, like everything else in life it comes down to money - the state doesn't want to pay. That's why the divorce and family laws are written the way they are and it's even the reason why they want to extend these laws to non-married couples - as the fear of god no longer seems to be doing the trick. However in today's society where non-marital sex is allowed and women have the ability to earn as much as men, it's unneccessary and dangerous (for guys anyway due to the old divo

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Posted on 12/14/2007 at 9:12:58 AM

 
I think what is frustrating about the concept of marriage is society's emphasis on it. Outsiders take your relationship more seriously if a couple is married. Again, I don't see marriage as having changed much for me and my spouse. We're still as committed as ever and could have lived our entire lives happily coupled but not legally married. I do view it as a piece of paper (but then again I have no particular religious argument that requires marriage).

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Posted on 02/08/2007 at 3:02:00 PM

 
My husband and I are married for five years and have been together 12, which based on our ages (27 and 29) people find surprising. I don't have any religious inclination that requires I get married as opposed to life partnering. And honestly not much has changed in our relationship since getting married. We're still madly in love as we have always been for the last 12 years, and our life is one great journey we share together. Whether or not we got married, we'd still be together either way. But the tax benefits of being married and the fact that we have a daughter make it easier. I usually don't care what people think (just read some of my articles) but having to explain name differences would have been a pain since we have a child.

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Posted on 02/08/2007 at 3:02:00 PM

 
Sorry, but I've been with my husband for 42 years. Marriage is not easy but it IS well worth the effort.

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Posted on 01/22/2007 at 6:01:00 PM

 
Great article! I am very happy for people who are happily married...it's just not for me. You did a great job expressing exactly how I feel. Thank you for explaining it much better than I could have!

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Posted on 01/02/2007 at 9:01:00 PM

 
Marriage is not the way to go. With half of Americans getting divorced and the even more people wanting to get divorced it's not even worth it to waste your time with that foolishness.

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Posted on 12/25/2006 at 9:12:00 PM

 
I think marriage is a great institution you just have to be careful about finding the right mate.

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Posted on 12/20/2006 at 12:12:00 AM

 
With an attitude like that, *you* probably should not get married. At least you recognize that you're not ready for marriage. Some people only know themselves that well when it's too late.

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Posted on 12/19/2006 at 6:12:00 PM

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