How to Make a Decision

What We Want and/or Need

"Those who restrain their desires, do so because theirs is weak enough to be restrained." - William Blake

These days we tend to use language rather gratuitously, saying very powerful words in a non-chalant, colloquial manner - "I LOVE these shoes", "I NEED to go to that concert". However, while you might appreciate or admire the shoes, you're not really in love with them, and while you might enjoy seeing your favorite band live, you're not going to perish if you don't, therefore, the real meaning behind the expression is skewed. If we go around using over-ambitious verbs like "need" and "want" to describe everyday things of no true substance, it's really no wonder we have trouble figuring out what's important in our lives. When I ask people, "What do you want?" the responding silence is usually deafening. People have a hard time focusing in on the things that they truly desire. We all have catch phrases such as, "I want to win the lottery", "I want world peace", "I want to have a baby"...but oftentimes, these wants don't have any sort of execution plan behind them, making them nothing more than empty wishes that will most likely remain as such.

So how do we determine what we really want and need? In order to create a realistic list of what's important to us, it really is imperative to first get a pen and some paper. I am a staunch believer in writing down important things, and now that we're figuring out what's important to us, it deserves to be written down.

My first recommendation is to brainstorm. Ask yourself the hard question of, "What do I want?" and write down everything that comes to mind. Everything. Even the things that seem silly. Even if your brain tells you that what you really want is to go waterskiing with Bono, write it down. This could take up 2 lines, or it could take up 10 pages, but writing down everything you can think of will give you the platform from which to jump. It will empty your head of those ideas and make room for the next step.