Aphasia is Not Near Fantasia

The Honeymoon

Eleven years after his stroke Bruce and I struck up a friendship that rapidly accelerated into romance, love and marriage. As with most newlyweds we struggled to communicate. For us, though, it was an amusing adventure seldom described in print.

Almost immediately, I found myself building a mental glossary for myself so I could understand him. "The room where I sleep at" (the bedroom) was not to be confused with "the place where
 I sleep at" (the bed).

"Behind me" meant anything but "behind". It usually meant in front of or next to and always meant nearby but very seldom did it truly mean "behind".

The "place where we eat food at" was a restaurant whereas "the area where we eat at" was the kitchen.

"The place of food" or "the place where I get food at" was a grocery store and was obviously not to be confused with the "place where we eat food at."

Ceiling lights, air conditioners and fans were either "open" or "closed" and windows were either "on" or "off".

The stroke victim's inability to communicate is called aphasia. Aphasia is an impairment of the ability to use or comprehend words, usually acquired as a result of a stroke or other brain injury. Aphasia can affect a stroke survivor's ability to communicate ranging from mildly impaired to severely impaired.

After suffering a severe stroke at the age of 36, which left him comatose over many weeks, Bruce's speech was severely impaired. Even after four years of speech therapy, it was difficult for him to understand spoken words and to express himself. His frustration with his new limitations led to outbursts of seeming anger or rage.

I have become very aware of how frustrating it is to be robbed of speech. As newlyweds, Bruce and I had quite the adventure learning to communicate. Considering that he was basically left to fend for himself just a few years after the stroke, the findings of a recent National Stroke Association report was a "no duh" moment for me.

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Beautiful article, and such a loving relationship you have with each other, you communicate better than a lot of people who don't have aphasia! loved it and thanks for the explanations of what it is like, I had a friend who had a brain tumor and after surgery she was like that, she knew what she wanted to say it just wouldn't come out.

Posted on 02/23/2007 at 3:02:00 PM

Thanks Ron, Amy and Susan. I do have a remarkable relationship - one that every woman should envy! I attribute our success to the new perspective Bruce acquired about life - after the stroke!

Posted on 02/18/2007 at 6:02:00 PM

Incredible article and great information Sharon. I've read several of your articles about you and Bruce's relationship and think you must be a real special couple.

Posted on 02/18/2007 at 5:02:00 PM

I agree with Susan. I could see a kitchen and was looking around trying to figure it out :) Great article! My boyfriend's mom has had strokes. These were several years ago, but she still has trouble from time to time walking and he says she is a lot different than she was before her strokes. These articles are helping me to better understand what happens to stroke survivors. Thank you.

Posted on 01/28/2007 at 1:01:00 PM

Super article! I felt like I was right there with you, visualizing the kitchen and moving my focus around. And you're so lucky to have a man that cleans floors! :)

Posted on 01/27/2007 at 2:01:00 PM

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