Lobbyist to Challenge God; Wrath Anticipated

Atheists have, since the inception of the American legislative process, been overlooked and underrepresented by a Congress which attests to providing fair political dominion for all American groups and individuals. Atheists' efforts to gain a legitimate voice in this nation's predominantly Christian political scheme have been laughed at and repeatedly ignored. This is most likely a result of the widely-known teaching of exclusion and intolerance by Jesus Christ.The American government, for fear of an apocalyptic backlash, has always created laws in the name of God, and made crucial decisions based on what they thought would appease him. The atheist, of course, is completely left out, and being left out hurts. Doesn't it seem a bit unfair to marginalize the atheists just because their perspectives are founded on "real experiences," of "real things," in the "real world"? Some atheists think so.Lori Lipman Brown, a self described "soft, fuzzy atheist," just became the first executive director of the Secular Coalition for America and Washington's first advocate of atheist political views. To many, this development is highly scandalous and controversial. Brown might be careful not to make too big a splash, and might consider a shave.  In this nation's capital, the one thing more disgusting and deplorable than a godless charlatan, is a fuzzy woman.Brown's agenda consists mainly of a push toward a completely secularized government -- a necessary component of true religious freedom -- and a credible avenue through which a vastly unheard demographic attains its rightful say in the legislative process. The Secular Coalition for America's position statement demonstrates a similar simplicity. "[We are] committed to promoting reason and science as the most reliable methods for understanding the universe and improving the human condition. Informed by experience and inspired by compassion, we encourage the pursuit of knowledge, meaning, and responsible ethical codes without reference to supernatural forces."That's fucking crazy.Despite the seemingly humanistic and compassionate motivations for the Secular Coalition's formation, a substantial portion of government officials are reluctant to welcome an atheist advocacy group. For them it raises a troubling question: What does God have to say about all of this?What does God have to say? I asked him, several times, but he didn't reply.In a recent Public Interest Research poll, 81% said they believe that God will smite Lori Lipman Brown with fire and brimstone; 14% believe it will be a plague of pestilence with which not only Brown will be smitten, but all atheists and followers of non-Christian religions as well. Another question revealed, 19% believe Brown will be sent to hell and forced to copulate with a pack of razor-toothed jackals for the rest of time, while 79% feel that she will have to drink boiling goat urine as her eternal punishment. Fuzziness aside, Brown is well aware that her ambitions may not be taken seriously by many of the closed minds in Washington. She knows that taking a stand for what one believes in sometimes means enduring endless exasperation. However, Brown remains optimistic, fully confident in her ability to stay smooth, even when she finds herself in a hairy situation.