Encouraging Bonding Between Older Children and a New Baby
Samantha Van Sciver
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You've either got a new bundle of joy or are expecting a new baby in your family. What do you do to help ensure that your older children body with him/her, and don't feel "left out" or "replaced" by baby? Depending on your child's age, it can be relatively simple to help them bond with baby, or it c 
an be extremely difficult.
If you've already got two children or more, then chances are, you already have a pretty good idea on how to help your older children to bond with baby. But what it you're expecting your second child and have no idea how to help him/her to adjust to the new baby or to bond with the new baby?
First and foremost, it's important to reassure your child(ren) that you still love them, and that the new baby is not their "replacement." This is especially
important for children between the ages of 5 and 8, as they are old enough to understand that a new baby will take some attention and time away from them. In children younger than 5, it's a task itself just to get them to understand that there's even going to be a new baby.
Involve siblings in the pregnancy as soon as you are comfortable telling them about it. Showing your child photos of where a baby is developmentally at certain stages, letting them feel the baby kick, and even letting them help pick names is a good way to switch it from "Mommy and Daddy's baby" to "our" baby. This is a good way to help your child to feel a sense of excitement about the new baby.
Focusing on the "big brother" or "big sister" aspect can also help. Make sure you let your child know that as the older sibling, his/her baby brother or sister
will "look up" to him or her, and that the new baby will eventually become old enough to be a playmate. This gives your child something to look forward to, and shows the positive side of having a new baby in the home.
If you've already got two children or more, then chances are, you already have a pretty good idea on how to help your older children to bond with baby. But what it you're expecting your second child and have no idea how to help him/her to adjust to the new baby or to bond with the new baby?
First and foremost, it's important to reassure your child(ren) that you still love them, and that the new baby is not their "replacement." This is especially
important for children between the ages of 5 and 8, as they are old enough to understand that a new baby will take some attention and time away from them. In children younger than 5, it's a task itself just to get them to understand that there's even going to be a new baby.
Involve siblings in the pregnancy as soon as you are comfortable telling them about it. Showing your child photos of where a baby is developmentally at certain stages, letting them feel the baby kick, and even letting them help pick names is a good way to switch it from "Mommy and Daddy's baby" to "our" baby. This is a good way to help your child to feel a sense of excitement about the new baby.
Focusing on the "big brother" or "big sister" aspect can also help. Make sure you let your child know that as the older sibling, his/her baby brother or sister
will "look up" to him or her, and that the new baby will eventually become old enough to be a playmate. This gives your child something to look forward to, and shows the positive side of having a new baby in the home.