Ideas for Helping Siblings Bond with the New Baby

My wife and I had to work at this with our sons and now we are doing it with our grandchildren. We have found that there are two things that are necessary to help create the bonding process. First, is a verbal constant reminding. Second is repetition of whatever event you are doing with the two together. It could be a simple chore like passing me the baby bottle.

When a baby first enters your home, it has 90% of the attention of the family members. This is only natural. The baby needs constant attention and they are a new addition to the family unit. This could cause a little jealousy on the siblings part. After all, they use to be the center of attention and that is about to change somewhat.

Adjusting to this event begins long before the baby is even born. When the mother is carrying the baby, have your other siblings know that their new brother or sister is being carried by the mother. You can say things like "This is where your new brother is at." or "Listen, you can hear your sister's heart beat." Have the sibling place their hands on the belly or listen with their ears. This is the first step in the process.

If you have picked out a name for the new baby, start using it and referring to it a lot. This will help the sibling with the identity process of the new baby.

Once the big day arrives for the new baby to be born, take the sibling with you to the hospital if they will allow it. Try to get the sibling to see the baby as soon as possible. Always refer to the baby as being very little and that they need to be helped and cared for very carefully.

Eventually the opportunity will come for the sibling to hold the baby for the first time. Have the sibling sit in a large chair or the couch. Then show them the proper way to hold the baby. The adult then places the baby in the siblings arms and monitors closely this first contact. Taking a picture of these event, reinforces the importance of it to the sibling. Keep in mind that there is a big difference in sitting and standing. The weight of the baby could be too great for the sibling.