Ten Tips I Learned About Conflict Resolution

I hate the term "conflict resolution". It has this sterile ring to it. And very rarely have I seen a conflict being resolved in the manner that business seminar videos portray. In these videos, we see stale looking actors and actresses reciting stodgy lines in the hopes of convincing America's cubicle-bound that they too, can solve all problems with diplomacy and grace. Nice try. But as we all know, true conflict resolution takes a bit more than just reciting back what the first person said, and telling them that you'll do better next time. One video in particular listed ten different things to do to help resolve conflicts effectively. But here's why they won't work as easily as you think they will...

10- CHANGE WHAT PEOPLE DO, NOT WHO THEY ARE.

This little piece of advice is wonderful. The problem is that what people do is often a reflection of who they are. That being said, if you want a lazy person who never cleans up at home, to scrub down the microwave after reheating his/her leftover crab dinner, you're in for a rude awakening. Sure, you can confront the person about the mess (and horrid smell) that was left behind. But more than likely, said person will just find more ways to annoy the BeJeezus out of you.

9- LISTEN BEFORE MAKING SUGGESTIONS.

This tip actually works. But it works only if you have colleagues who will be open to your suggestions in the first place. If the mind is made up not that whatever you say shall be null and void, chances are, it makes no difference how long you let the person rant. It also doesn't matter what you say afterwards. I know this sounds incredibly negative. And it is. But the trick here is to convince your irate colleague that you are sympathetic to his/her plight. Once you have done that, the sky is the limit.

8- GET TO THE POINT; DON'T HINT