Wedding Shower Etiquette Questions & Answers

Q: I am the Maid of Honor and would like to host a bridal shower for the bride. Since I am the best friend of the bride, can I make up the guest list?

A: While you may have a comfortable and in-depth knowledge of the bride's friends and family, it is best to consult with her when developing the guest list. More appropriate, request the bride create her guest list. This will ensure no one special to the bride you may not know is left out of the festivities.

Q: We have some silly games planned for an upcoming bridal shower. The bride's mother and future mother-in-law will be there and I want to know if I should wait until they leave to play the games.

A: If you have planned games of a compromising or explicative nature, it might be best to avoid them altogether. First, it would be presumptuous to wait for the mother's to leave, especially if the bride arrived with one or both. Second, it is very important to take caution when planning certain games and shower activities unless you have discussed the details in advance with the bride. After all, the bridal shower should be planned with her wishes in mind, and she may be unappreciative of being placed in an uncomfortable situation in the presence of her mother and future mother-in-law.

Q: I'm helping to throw a wedding shower with a few other friends. I'm in charge of the food and don't have the time to make anything. Is it okay to buy platters from the grocery store?

A: It's perfectly acceptable to purchase pre-packaged or already prepared refreshments for a bridal shower. Just make sure your selections are in conjunction with the overall theme and tone of the shower. You may also consider rearranging already prepared foods onto silver or glass platters to give the appearance of personal preparation. There's no need to tell anyone you didn't prepare the refreshments yourself.

Q: A few weeks ago, the bride and her Maid of Honor had a huge fight about the bridesmaid dresses and they're not speaking. I'm hosting a lingerie shower for the bride and want to invite the Maid of Honor in hopes they can fix their problem. Should I invite her?