Great Expectations in Dating and Relationships - Do We Expect Too Much of Others?
Daniella Nicole
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Dating Burn Out
I have read a lot about expectations in dating and relationships. Some have even stated that 'burn out' in dating may be caused by having 'unrealistic expectations'. That is certainly worth considering. 
For me, any time I have felt 'dating burn out' it has been due to frustration over running into the same stereotypical men time and time again. Is this a matter of the odds being against me, or of me placing unfair expectations upon the men I date?
Expectations of Others
After a great deal of contemplation, I have come to the conclusion that I personally do have expectations in dating, and they are:
1-the person I am dating be who they have presented themselves to be
2-the person I am dating follow through on their commitments and promises to me and to others
Other than that, I don't have any, because frankly, I won't consider dating anyone who doesn't meet certain criteria such as being courteous, having similar beliefs as I do, etc.
I accept others as they are, and start off by believing not only that they are who they have presented themselves to be, but also that they are being honest with me. 'Innocent Unless Proven Guilty' and all that jazz.
Anything else I am seeking in a relationship is not an 'expectation' I put on them, but an attribute I try to discern in the screening and dating processes, which will determine if I date or continue to date them.
I think too often we can fall into the trap of expecting all the people we date to be a certain way, and become frustrated when they are not. It is as if we are trying to mold them into being our 'perfect match' rather than just trying to discern if they are our match to begin with, and moving on if they are not.
Being Alone vs Being With a Mismatch
Being alone isn't always easy, but from experience I can honestly say it beats the alternative, which is to be with someone who is a total mismatch for you. I think society in general, peers, family, and even religion can put far too much pressure upon singles to just hurry up and get married, without considering the consequences of an ill-conceived and rushed union.
I have read a lot about expectations in dating and relationships. Some have even stated that 'burn out' in dating may be caused by having 'unrealistic expectations'. That is certainly worth considering.
For me, any time I have felt 'dating burn out' it has been due to frustration over running into the same stereotypical men time and time again. Is this a matter of the odds being against me, or of me placing unfair expectations upon the men I date?
Expectations of Others
After a great deal of contemplation, I have come to the conclusion that I personally do have expectations in dating, and they are:
1-the person I am dating be who they have presented themselves to be
2-the person I am dating follow through on their commitments and promises to me and to others
Other than that, I don't have any, because frankly, I won't consider dating anyone who doesn't meet certain criteria such as being courteous, having similar beliefs as I do, etc.
I accept others as they are, and start off by believing not only that they are who they have presented themselves to be, but also that they are being honest with me. 'Innocent Unless Proven Guilty' and all that jazz.
Anything else I am seeking in a relationship is not an 'expectation' I put on them, but an attribute I try to discern in the screening and dating processes, which will determine if I date or continue to date them.
I think too often we can fall into the trap of expecting all the people we date to be a certain way, and become frustrated when they are not. It is as if we are trying to mold them into being our 'perfect match' rather than just trying to discern if they are our match to begin with, and moving on if they are not.
Being Alone vs Being With a Mismatch
Being alone isn't always easy, but from experience I can honestly say it beats the alternative, which is to be with someone who is a total mismatch for you. I think society in general, peers, family, and even religion can put far too much pressure upon singles to just hurry up and get married, without considering the consequences of an ill-conceived and rushed union.