Natural and Logical Consequences as Discipline - A Method for Parents

Teaching Children Rather Than Punishing Them

What is Normal and Right?

Growing up in a dysfunctional home, I always felt like I was walking on eggshells. There were no hard and fast rules other than the one about not irritating mom and dad; but what irritated them changed moment-to-moment.

Our punishment varied from having profanity yelled in our faces; to being called names and demeaned; to being hit, slapped, and thrown around the room.

As I got older, I realized that what we were experiencing wasn't exactly 'normal' and wasn't exactly 'right'. But with that being all I knew, I didn't exactly know what was 'normal' and 'right'.

The Concept of Natural and Logical Consequences

Then I stumbled across the concept of natural and logical consequences. The foundation of this method of discipline is taking the out-of-control emotion out of the equation, and teaching children to self-govern, with love and logic.

For example, if a child decides to disobey a parent's admonition to put on a coat before going outside to play, they can be allowed to go out to play for a short time, get cold, and come back in of their own accord: lesson learned. This is natural consequences at work.

An example of logical consequences is if a child were to throw a toy in a rage, the toy gets taken away from them until such time as they can calm down and take better care of their toys.

The True Definition of Discipline

The word discipline is derived from the word disciple. The true meaning of discipline is not to punish, but rather, to teach. Therefore, when we are charged with disciplining our children it is not an order to punish them for whatever sins we feel they have committed; but rather an opportunity to instruct them and prepare them for life as a functioning and self-sufficient adult.

The Consequences of Natural and Logical Consequences in Parenting

By utilizing the principles of natural and logical consequences, we build trust with our children as they know the consequences of their bad choices and bad behaviors will be fair and consistent. We also teach them to think things through; and to be better prepared for life as an adult when they will face natural and logical consequences on a daily basis.