How to Talk to Your Child About Dating

Some parents have more trouble talking with their children than other parents do. When children begin to exhibit an interest in dating, many parents have no idea how to handle the sensitive topic. Drawing from the practices my parents used, I offer a few tips for the next time you approach your child to have a conversation about dating.

Don't make sexual subjects taboo.

If you want your children to feel free to talk with you about any subject, you can't have a taboo on sex, birth control, puberty, periods, or anything else. Of course, you don't have to talk about these subjects constantly, but take the initiative to talk to your kids about sexual matters. Regardless of whether your children are actually dating anyone, they will face sexual issues. Ignoring the issues doesn't help.

Speak kindly.

You don't want your children to speak to you disrespectfully. Do them the service of returning the same favor. Even if their opinions are clearly wrong, don't belittle those opinions or ridicule their questions. You can be firm and uphold your rules without speaking harshly.

Make sure you tell your children that you love them.

The more sensitive you think the conversation may be, the more you should stress your love. Even if you think they know it, say it anyway. If your kids think you're at war with them, they will probably not have any desire to understand or respect the rules. If they hear often, even in times of disagreement, that you love them, there is a better chance that they will respect you and obey your rules even when they don't agree with you.

Be open about your past.

You may think that it's good enough for your children to obey your rules even if they don't understand. And sometimes that is good enough. But other times, you do them a greater service and teach them more by helping them to understand the reasons behind your rules. If your rules spring from a desire to help your children avoid the mistakes you made in the past, consider explaining these mistakes to your children. You don't have to provide every gruesome detail, but be honest and open in what you do reveal.

Talk often.