The Five Dumbest IPhone Applications

We all love the plucky little iPhone and its host of useful applications, but some of iTunes' offerings leave quite a bit to be desired. Here are five iPhone applications that make the device look like the useless status symbol we all subconsciously realize it is.

1. Lucky Lotto - This $.99 application would be a great way for lottery addicts to pick random numbers, if it weren't for 1. the plethora of free applications on the internet that do just that, and 2. the fact that this iPhone application costs as much as the lottery ticket it's trying to help people buy. If you're at the point where you think you need this, you've done something terrible to your life. Give your iPhone to someone else.

2. National Threat Advisory - This application is now free, but did cost two bucks. It tells you what the national terror threat level is, which is a bit like finding out the weather forecast from an 1870s chicken farmer because the government has no freaking idea what the terrorists are planning or when they're planning it or if they're planning it. And let's be honest, what are you going to use that information for?

"You want to see a movie?"
"Oh, sure, let me just check my iPhone...oh, threat level orange. No, let's not go, the terrorists might go on a fatwah against Tropic Thunder."
"I don't love you anymore."

3. SimStapler - While this free iPhone application doesn't screw anybody out of money, it does waste time, and as we all learned in Economics 101, time is equal to money, so these developers are just as guilty as the others on this list. SimStapler shows a picture of a stapler, and, when pressed--sit down, actually. Get comfortable. Have a drink.

When you press down it makes the sound of a stapler. That is absolutely all that happens. It doesn't even make an Office Space joke.

Unfortunately, though, this free application is not also the most useless on this list.