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Can You Ever Trust a Cheater Again?

Where There is Love, There is Hope

By Crystal Ray, published Oct 15, 2008
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A person cheating on a significant other is nothing new, but contrary to popular belief, men are not necessarily the worst offenders. Women cheat on men too, and the damage that is inflicted on a relationship is deep and long-lasting. Trust is fragile, and when trust is broken it can be glued together, but fine cracks will always remain. The harm that cheating causes spreads like cancer, and if the issue is laid to rest by the offender and is not open for discussion, wounds caused by a genuine lack of trust will continue to fester and eventually destroy the relationship.

It is difficult to trust a cheater, even when all seems well. As the dust finally settles and forgiveness has been granted, the person who was cheated on will have more time to reflect. Even though the cheater seemed to be forgiven at the time, it is possible that the one who was cheated on will change their mind. Whether a person is a perpetrator or a victim of cheating, it is important to remember the past, or the relationship might not have a future.

Will I Ever Be Trusted Again?


This is a question that often comes to mind after being caught cheating on a spouse or a significant other. The cheater sometimes decides the relationship is not worth saving or working on because he or she will never have their partner's trust again. Once broken, trust is very difficult to repair, but it can be repaired with patience and a great deal of time. Because of the issue of trust, the cheater should not be surprised when they are questioned on how their time was spent or how shared money was spent. Mysterious telephone numbers and online activities will also be scrutinized. The cheater gave their significant other a real reason not to trust their motives, and just because they were forgiven does not mean the person they cheated on will ever forget. It can take years to rebuild trust.

The Liar's Punishment and the Cheater


Takeaways
  • Excuses for cheating are never acceptable.
  • Trust is the glue that holds relationships together, and when shattered, fine cracks will remain.
  • It is possible to rebuild trust - if the subject of cheating is not buried by the former cheater.
Comments
Comments 1 - 13 of 13
 
 
Good points--in my opinion, once a cheater, always a cheater. But, that doesn't stop love.

Posted on 11/10/2008 at 8:11:04 PM

 
C: Cheater and cheated - it is very difficult to rise above the crime and punishment dynamics. The resilence of human love is a start, the completeness of God's love and grace are the end. M

Posted on 10/30/2008 at 11:10:04 AM

 
Briliantly written. Your personal insite is wise and kind. Thank You fer sharin'. Mizpah.;-}}>

Posted on 10/22/2008 at 3:10:34 PM

 
I'm sure it must be extremely difficult to rebuild trust once it has been broken in this way. I've got a similar article in the queue (hope it's accepted), but it also discusses lying, not just cheating. Sophie

Posted on 10/19/2008 at 11:10:49 PM

 
We men will try to rationalize anything that suits our whims...I liked the voice most in this piece.

Posted on 10/16/2008 at 4:10:34 PM

 
Great article and pointers.

Posted on 10/16/2008 at 1:10:17 PM

 
Great topic! I think you had some great insight!

Posted on 10/16/2008 at 7:10:09 AM

 
very good points here nicely done!!

Posted on 10/16/2008 at 3:10:07 AM

 
Great points. In fact, heard a similar show on the radio today. Forgiveness is easy - trust takes a long time to regain.

Posted on 10/15/2008 at 9:10:42 PM

 
This is such a struggle. Nicely done.

Posted on 10/15/2008 at 7:10:17 PM

 
Good article. Hope I never have to deal with anything like that. One of our much older friends when I was growing up told how a neighbor cheated on his wife and she found out. The wife asked our friend what she would do and she said to stay with him and give him another chance. She did, and the couple later had another child, a little girl, who was one of my best friends in high school, and still is. The couple stayed together till they died, and my friend was, and is, a wonderful person who would never have existed had the wife not stayed with the husband. Not that it always works out, I know.

Posted on 10/15/2008 at 4:10:19 PM

 
Excellent insight.

Posted on 10/15/2008 at 4:10:26 PM

 
Good insights and I like the addition of some literary quotes.

Posted on 10/15/2008 at 4:10:02 PM

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