Don't Ask: When Are You Going to Have a Baby?

Respect the Privacy of a Woman

It started when I hit the age of thirty. Here I was a happy well adjusted woman who was in a committed relationship. To the naked eye, it seem that one thing was missing from my life and the question began: “When are you going to have a baby.”
I never knew what to say. Usually, I just smiled and said I am still thinking. Then of course, the well intention person who asked the question starts going into a long list of reasons why I should have a baby. The first being I would make a wonderful mother, I am so loving and how great my husband would be as a father. Yes, I knew he was great with kids. I have seen this for myself. 

By this time, I want to scream, “Leave me alone this is my life,” But you honestly can not do that. The people who usually ask such personal questions are friends and family members, people who you love. You don’t want to offend or hurt someone like that. 

Of course, the closer they are to me, the worse the interrogation gets. If I say something about the pain of giving birth, they remind me that this is 2005 and women do not usually die from giving birth anymore and that it is a natural process, my body can handle it. Then of course, if they have given birth themselves they launch into a very graphic detailed description of their deliveries from the moment their water broke to when they first laid eyes on their beloved baby. 

Now it is easier to scurry away from the question when asked by a stranger. You can get away with maybe someday. Most strangers will let it go then. Guess I am lucky that a stranger has never said anything about my proverbial clicking clock.
Don’t get me wrong, I like children. I have seen many cute little babies. I have played with babies that belonged to friends of mine. 

I do not know if I am totally committed on not having a baby. But what I am definitely committed on is the fact that I hate when people try to persuade me to have a baby. They make me feel like you are a not a woman unless you give birth to a child. That you would be missing out on a something wonderful and that you would regret it later. This is not always the case.