Have You Ever Thought of Suicide.....I Have

"I want to die," these are words that I have felt more than once. There are a couple of times in the past I even went as far as to take sleeping pills hoping that they would do me in. However as you can see I am here today to talk about it. The True God must have had different plans for me.

This is the season where I am sure many people have also considered taking their own life. The pressure of gift giving, family life and the pressures of everyday life could be an important factor as to why there are people trying to commit suicide.

My favorite singer of all time who does not get half the recognition that she deserves is Phyllis Hyman. Phyllis Hyman not only considered committing suicide she went through with it. This beautiful human being who had a beautiful silky voice and got your attention whenever she was on stage simply because of her presence. She was a very attracitve black statuesque woman known for chandlier earrings, dress hat and bugle beaded dress. Phyllis was only a few years older than I am now when she took her own life.

Phyllis an actress, singer and model is known for such singles as I Refuse To Be Lonely, Living All Alone, I Dont Wanna Lose You, Don't Wanna Change The World. Ironically the song "Gonna Make Changes," speaks of a person who has been down and managed to pick themselves up again, I am sure that she was talking about herself. There was also sadness in her songs. I guess I could relate to the songs, because I could feel the pain she was feeling.

Hyman's last album, I Refuse To Be Lonely," is about her personal life. She struggled with bipolar disorder, depression and alcholism. After contributing her talent to an AIDS benefit concert, seeing what this disease can do a person left her emotionally drained. There were people in the hospitals dying of this disease and their only request was to see Phyllis. She would visit them but always left distraught and in bewilderment because she could not fathom why these people would want to see her on their death bed.