About Men: Signs Your Man is Defensive

He's got a great personality. You felt the attraction when you first met him. He vied for your attention and watched you all night. But something just ain't clicking. Is he a defensive man? Here is my list of do-not-ignore signs:

¨ He doesn't have a good relationship with his mother or he finds you lacking when he compares you to his mother.

¨ He pushes for you to look or behave a certain way. For example, you might prefer your nails short and natural, but he insists that you get artificial nails that are jeweled or polished. In other words, you don't feel your individuality is honored.

¨ He refers to women in a derogatory fashion. Either he makes base references when he's disappointed or angry or his overall opinion of women is distrustful or condescending.

¨ He is blaming and shaming in his language when you and he argue. He assassinates your character and you feel devalued when he's mad at you. He may threaten to leave you, distance himself in some way from you or make it difficult for you to get back in his good graces. To the other extreme, he might even give you the silent treatment, sigh or moan in an annoying way.

¨ He apologizes but it is not sincere. One way you can tell is that he does the behavior again and as time goes on, he stops apologizing and criticizes you as being the reason for his actions.

¨ He doesn't follow through on what he says he's going to do. A good man does ALL he can to keep his word. His word is his bond and he doesn't feel that giving a reason or explanation, no matter how noble, as justification.

¨ He's always too busy to invest in the relationship. His energies and motivation are elsewhere and you feel that the relationship is an afterthought or something he has to work in.

¨ You feel like you are intruding instead of welcomed in his private space. He is guarded and walled. Instead of sharing more and more with you, he barrs you from certain subjects or aspects of his life.