I Just Want a Beer!

Seven Verses Four Lines Each (To the Offline General Public)

Getting people coming by
Can be a struggle all uphill.
I've tried to ask 'em nicely.
I've told 'em how I feel.

Maybe they'd come visit
If I said: "I just want a beer."
And that every single page view
Brings my next lager near.

Though I no more touch the stuff
You just can't help but think
That I could maybe make more friends
If it was for a drink.

I could SEO for a six-pack,
A forty, or a keg.
The party goes on 'round the clock
And no more would I beg.

Though not for solid reasons,
Like love, or child support,
You bet they'd come in droves and waves
To back that drunken sport!

People read for their own reasons.
It bummed me to get the news
That I might only be a better man
If it were for some booze.

So, please, gather 'round the table
(Do take your mug in hand)
I'll drink the most, as if to toast,
"Here's to that better man!"