As Much as We All Want to be Our Kids' Best Friends, We Need to be Their Parents First

There was a time when I was footloose and fancy-free. It took a lot to anger me - most things just rolled right off. Then I had kids.

At first, being a Dad wasn't bad. They'd cry and I'd feed them. They'd cry, I'd burp them. Or change them. Or rock them to sleep. Endless skull-piercing screams of teething aside, there wasn't much to get angry about when they were infants. But they just HAD to grow up.

Now I'm not just Dad. I'm Police Officer Dad, the Honorable Judge Dad, Prosecuting Attorney Dad, Prison Warden Dad and Parole Officer Dad. I wear all those hats because I have two teenage boys who force me to do so. As much as I'd rather be their friend first and Authority Figure second, they will not allow me to be. When I soften up, when I come down to their level and act as their friend, they inevitably take advantage of the fact that Police Officer Dad is on vacation and My Pal Dad is too nice to yell. That's when P.O. Dad gets called back early from his much-needed rest and clamps down again. The adage "give an inch, take a mile" is their credo and it again becomes my job to take back the mile - and the inch.

I don't want to be a hardass to my boys. I don't want them to remember me as the jerk who tried to control every aspect of their lives, but until they exhibit some sustained self-control and good decision-making capabilities, I fear I have no alternative. My goal is not to have two robots doing everything I say. My goal is to send two responsible adult men into the world without fear that the world will chew them up and spit them out - probably right back into my house. They need to learn to respect authority, follow rules and be thoughtful of others - and if I have to be a prison warden in order to accomplish that, so be it. I would rather my kids hate me and be successful in life than love me and be useless bums. I will sacrifice our "friendship" now for their success later with the hope that they will someday realize why I did what I did and maybe then do it for their own children.