I Naively Thought I Could Ask for Help and Get It
I am the mother of a child with Learning Disabilities. You can call them what you want. Learning Disabilities, learning differences, enhanced learning. It means that the way information is taught within the school system is not working for her.Here is the kicker. The kid is brilliant. Yes, I know, all parents think their children are brilliant. This child consistently scores in the 99 percentile and above on those IQ tests that they give them at the end of the year. In third grade, the first year she had to take SOLs we were completely stressed, and she received two perfect scores. So really, I mean it, she is brilliant.
Her problem hasn't been diagnosed yet. After her first grade teacher recommended that she repeat first grade (we got a tutor instead) and her second grade teacher recommended testing for LD, and her third grade teacher recommended testing for LD and then this summer the Visions (Gifted) teacher who has her for Advanced Math recommended testing her for LD I decided to go ahead. It was a difficult decision because her father has been against it.
Quite naively I walked into what they call a Child Study meeting expecting to be told what tests were available, what we would be looking for and what I should expect. Naïve. I now know, if you want help from Special Education Services, you walk in with a battle plan.
I was shocked when after introductions were made the Vice Principal of my child's school asked me to explain why I was there and then she went on to tell me that the child was a "successful student." And yes, one would think that a child who can pull off two perfect standardized test would indeed be successful. But those tests took her all day. She is exhausted every day after school. She has been giving reading everything she has got and she is scraping by at grade level. Her spelling is a disaster. This summer she wrote a note to her brothers:
CIP YOU LIT OF
Comments
As the parent of a undiagnosed ADD son, (he has a mild version of it which teachers refused to accept) I can feel your anger
(continuation of note below) . . . .necessary to get the proper diagnosis and agree on a protocol together as a team - student/parent/teachers/admin/doctor - sometimes it takes all. If grades are so good, eventhough you're obviously seeing some extreme issues, the admin is fearful that her diagnosis will elude everyone even after exhaustive testing. They should 'man-up' and share that with you. It is a real risk that a 'certain' diagnosis may not come about - only guesses - but there are always coping skills and tricks we can all learn to use to get by and be more functional in this world, right?! That's where the special needs services can come in. And as she gets into high school especially - if she can get qualified for special needs services now and begin to benefit from study skills, etc offered for those students - by high school she can qualify for vocational rehab training her jr/sr year and maybe beyond - $ for training beyond h.s.
You're on the right track - The 'squeaky wheel theory' is not a bad route - keep at them! You say you've got great teachers on your side and supporting your child. As a former public educator who fought bad administrators too - I can tell you that when admin 'thinks' a child is going to be 'borderline' or hard to diagnose they often hope the parent(s) will be uninvolved or back-off quickly. They don't want to go through the red tape and what 'might' be a very long process to diagnose a child - Oh my goodness - that might mean actually making a school psychologist do his/her job and take the kid out of class for testing! That might also mean the school psychologist might have to have a dialogue with the parents and the child's physician(s) - There might have to be blood tests or other tests by medical doctors requested additionally - Maybe a child psychiatrist exam/diagosis as well - and school admin is fearful often of asking parents to go do that, even if that might be necessary to
I'm not providing a link to it but I did want to say that I wrote about a TERRIBLE experience we had with school administration. Basically, what happened: son fell in gym class. Gym teacher calls me, has me take him to ER. He has an A in gym class. Next day, I'm told that unless he has a note (not just the hospital paperwork we dutifully sent) he will flunk the running test...even though the TEACHER was the one who "suspected" a broken foot! Huh?! WHat?! Does this seem insane to you? It sure does to me. Also, he missed his classes that day, doing nothing for learning.
Calin - I, too, am a mother of a child with learning disabilities and challenges. Hope you stay in touch because we parents need to stick together and make our voices heard. When it comes to high school,be prepared to gear yourself for an adversarial process (while being as calm and yet forceful as possible). Social promotion is a norm in many schools and you know what a stinker "social promotion" can be. Like yours, one of my children is smart, talented and full of potential...but his skills aren't suited to school environments. Actually, your child may qualify for testing, even if performing at grade level, even if not disruptive. I've been through the wringer on this - and out the other side.
Private schools are not always tuned in to special needs, either. We have experienced several frustrations over the years. 8-)
I am with you Donald :-) they SAY that education has come a long way... but I'm not seeing it yet. Her teachers actually rock, it is the admin. They want to keep their statistics low...
Different kids learn in different ways. Instead of recognizing this our educational system labels anyone different as 'disabled.' They tried sticking me in remedial math because I went about equations differently than the teachers. I conclude that most teachers...shouldn't be.
I felt like I wrote this article!!!! I went through this with one of my daughters...all her school yeras were trying for her, and me, as well. She stayed in LD until her senior year in high school. She was already 18, so she checked herself out of any programs she had spent her life in....worked her butt off...and made the honor roll for the first time in all her school years! It is very complicated to try and explain in a comment, but, I had to work day and night with her to get through those years. The LD team was not always right, in many cases with my daughter. I wish you well...
Great article.
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