Priest Says Modern Culture Devoid of Religion, Says Holy Water the Solution

A Catholic priest of a church in Lincoln, Ohio, has asked the city's mayor if he could bless the city's water supply in an attempt at re-spawning righteousness and religiosity to the townspeople. Basically, the priest has asked permission to climb atop Lincoln's water tower and turn the entire 125,000 gallons into holy water, which would then be distributed to the city's inhabitants.

Father Vincent has said, via telephone, that his plan would enable the people of Lincoln, Ohio to, "drink, bathe in, cook with, and water their lawns with holy water." Is he afraid of heights? "Kind of, but something has to be done. Have you seen the violence, the hatred, and the sorrow on television? Have you seen a modern culture devoid of religion, devoid of Christ?" How have people perceived his posited plan? "Most of the folks in the congregation have supported me with open arms. They've assured me this is a step in the right direction. They are concerned with the direction the world is going, too."

There are also those who oppose Father Vincent's plan. Much controversy has erupted among the citizens of Lincoln. Kathy Heeding, a mom of three young boys, 12, 10, and 7, is "entirely in opposition to [Vincent's] plan." She explains, "Do you mean that we're supposed to be drinking some kind of hocus-pocus water, just because some people believe in that? I don't think I've ever heard of anything so crazy before. Can't these people bless their own water after it comes out of the tap?"