Breaking News: John McCain in Critical Condition After Suffering Heart Attack While Watching Scary "Ghost Car" Viral Video

THE FOLLOWING STORY IS NOT TRUE. IT SHOULD BE READ FOR THE SAKE OF SICK HUMOR ONLY.

Dateline: Pulaski, Tennessee.

Presidential candidate John McCain remains in critical condition following an unexpected heart attack last night, apparently the victim of an internet prank. Last night, following a campaign rally at which Sen. McCain broke his own record of saying "My friends" 75 times in just one hour, and at which running mate Sarah Palin accused Barack Obama of being boyhood pals with Josef Stalin, Mr. McCain returned to his hotel room to engage in his nightly ritual of trying to learn how to use e-mail. At this point, it appears that the email attachment that John McCain opened last night could prove to be his last.

Ever since John McCain became the butt of jokes on the shows of David Letterman, Keith Olbermann and even Fox News following a close advisor's contention that Senator McCain was the inventor of the Blackberry device, and the ensuing Barack Obama campaign commercial showing John McCain attempting to talk into an actual blackberry cobbler, the Senator has set aside two hours each night after campaigning to perfect the momentous task of learning how to use e-mail. Apparently, Senator McCain was alone in his room when he received an e-mail with an attachment that opened a link to the infamous "Ghost Car" video on YouTube. The Ghost Car video is famous for its horrifyingly scary climax and has been featured on America's Funniest Home Videos many times, featuring unsuspecting viewers, like John McCain, falling over backward in surprised shock and awe.