Fast Way to Get Rid of Hickeys

First off it's hard to believe anyone would want to get rid of a hickey. In many ways it is symbolic. It is a sign that somebody out there finds you so irresistible that they were trying to eat you. That is quite a compliment. Never has there been a time that I applied a hickey to one lovely lady and then immediately started thinking about examples of sympathy notes. The hickey is delivered in a moment of pure animal instinct. The recipient is targeted as an object of absolute desire. It is a glorious moment of worship. Still want to get rid of it? Fine.

Wait. Think first about who gave it to you. I for one would cherish a donation from Salma Hayek. In fact, if she were to give me a hickey, there is a good chance I would be wearing a t-shirt with an arrow letting the whole world know where it came from. I would probably start drafting examples of imagery poems to fully capture the moment it happened. There would be earth satellite views posted up in my neighbourhood so that people could see where it happened even from space. Emergency rooms in hospitals who do gastric banding would shut down to take photographs of my condition, on my request of course. You never know, I could make the next edition of medical weekly.

On the other hand if it was given to me by somebody like Bianca Golden from America's Next Top Model, I would want to get rid of that thing as quickly as possible. She is just an evil person. More importantly I would probably be concerned about how it happened. Was I drunk? Did I fall down and hit my head? It probably happened while I was unconscious. What happened to Jennifer Grey? Why am I even wondering about that? I really did hit my head! Thank goodness. Sorry. You still want to get rid of your hickey.

Despite ignoring all the anthropological significance of your new found markings, here is how you can get rid of hickeys. One idea is applying a cold compress. This will help reduce swelling which is constricting blood vessels that are making it difficult to get new blood to the scene of the crime. With the reduction in swelling, the healing can begin. Although, I'm still not sure why you would want that to happen.