The Ambassador from the Planet Aphasia

By Jean Riva, published Jan 01, 2007
Published Content: 37  Total Views: 36,574  Favorited By: 45 CPs
Rating: 4.2 of 5
Today was get-out-of-the-house day. We've been snow bound. Oh, not really but it makes a better story than saying we had no place to go since Friday. Today was different. We had a mission. We had to get haircuts and lunch and visit the bookstore before they were tempted to take us off their speed dialer.

After our haircuts, we were in Cracker Barrel waiting for our chicken fried chicken and biscuits when over the sound system came a guy vocalizing, "I've got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle as I go ridin' merrily along and they sing, oh, aren't you glad you're single and that song ain't so very far from wrong."

"Don," I asked my husband, "Is that Bill Wills singing?"

"Late, late night. Girl, girl, boy," he answered.

"Okay," I thought, "what does that mean on the Planet Aphasia?" Will someone tell me why it takes fifteen minutes to translate something like that? But it did finally come to me. Don's enigmatic reply was telling me that the cowboy singing was Tex Ritter. It's really quite cleaver how he can find ways to communicate with so few words at his disposal. 3's Company comes on TV late at night and John Ritter (plus two girls) starred in the show, and John was the son of Tex Ritter. This is what it's like living with my husband's language disorders, aphasia and apraxia; he speaks in aphasic tongue and I translate it into earth English. It's daily, mental gymnastics.

After we got our coats on to leave the Cracker Barrel, Don did one of his famous 'roll ups' to our restaurant mate's table. "Handicapped. Six---no. Five---no. Four! Vegetable," he said as an introduction.

I quickly translated: "My husband had a stroke four and a half years ago and we were told that he'd be nothing more than a vegetable."

"You sure fooled them," the woman beamed and Don beamed right back at her.

"GM. Snowplow," Don replied and I translated: "My husband worked at GM and had a commercial parking lot maintenance business on the side. He was a workaholic."

The Ambassador from the Planet Aphasia

If a photo could talk, this one would say what I feel, living on the Planet Aphasia where voices are more thought waves than sound. The silence echoes in layers of colors to match our emotions.

Credit: Dez Pain

Copyright: Dez Pain

Takeaways
  • This is what it's like living with the language disorders, aphasia and apraxia; my husband speaks in aphasic tongue and I translate it into earth English. It's daily, mental gymnastics.
  • The strangers didn't know it, but they had just met the Ambassador from the Planet Aphasia.
Did You Know?
It's estimated that over a million people in the United States have aphasia. Thus far, there is no known cure.
Comments
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Donna- I've been so busy reading contest entries that I nearly missed seeing this but Sharon's reference to you got me to check this out (she wrote an article that somehow related to aphasia) I just pray you are writing a book because I can't wait to review it and help it be the bestseller it'd be destined to be. Your work needs to be seen by many!

Posted on 06/05/2008 at 1:06:13 PM

 
Please check out my 'Aphasia and Stroke Caregivers Guide' at: http://www.squidoo.com/strokecaregiver

Posted on 04/20/2008 at 10:04:09 AM

 
:)

Posted on 03/18/2008 at 3:03:47 PM

 
Check out my blog at: http://fromtheplanetaphasia.blogspot.com/

Posted on 10/09/2007 at 4:10:00 PM

 
I agree with Donna, your writing is free of that amateurish tone that plagues so many of us. Nice job!

Posted on 05/30/2007 at 8:05:00 PM

 
You really do have a way with words. I feel as though I was there at the Cracker Barrel laughing right along with you!

Posted on 05/15/2007 at 11:05:00 PM

 
Thanks for a wonderful read Jean as usual!!!

Posted on 01/08/2007 at 9:01:00 PM

 
I can't figure out how to subscribe...but I will as soon as I do!

Posted on 01/03/2007 at 4:01:00 PM

 
You sound like a "real writer" to me. Enjoyed this more than the first even. Don is truly blessed to have you and you the same.

Posted on 01/02/2007 at 10:01:00 PM

 
"The girl looked at me then down at the card, studying it carefully. Quickly I pulled the right card out of my wallet before she could tell me that I looked better with the mustache." - this line had my rolling! Great tone, excellent humor, but also good information. You draw great word pictures.

Posted on 01/02/2007 at 6:01:00 PM

 
Beautiful work!!

Posted on 01/02/2007 at 2:01:00 PM

 
Wow, I'm honored with the reception my article/s have gotten so far! But I've got to confess that I was a little nervous putting my work out in a community of real writers. I keep a blog on a stroke support forum but it's quite a different thing to share caregiver and aphasia related, true-life stories with the general population. Susan, thanks for the compliment about writing a book! I actually have one half written. This article and " The Shower Stall Mystery" are a couple of chapters from the draft. I've got another chapter submitted and will do others as well. Watch for "Bobsleding the Staircase" which is humorous look at a caregiver issue.

Posted on 01/02/2007 at 12:01:00 PM

 
I see the makings of a book in your writings. I'm off to subscribe, so I don't miss the next installment.

Posted on 01/02/2007 at 11:01:00 AM

 
I agree with "The Barefoot". Wonderful, marvelous! Education with a smile. I couldn't ask for a better meal of humility and gratitude. My husband and I are so blessed, by comparison, and I will bookmark your writings for days when I feel our situation to be too difficult.

Posted on 01/02/2007 at 10:01:00 AM

 
Jean loved it, I am trying to find how to subscribe such that everytime you publish anything I can read

Posted on 01/02/2007 at 7:01:00 AM

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