Relationship Checklist: Are You Ready to Move in Together?

So you’re feeling the euphoria of the first rush of love. Sure, all of your partner’s little idiosyncrasies are charming now, but before you welcome his or her amazing stereo system and flatulent bulldog into your place, consider the logistics. There are both practical and emotional challenges in space-sharing.

Though it seems unromantic to parse all the details, it’s necessary to have one or two “big relationship talks” before moving day. It’s awkward, but better for everyone if expectations are expressed upfront. Think about what you want and need instead of trying to figure it out on the spot, and allow your partner the time to collate their thoughts, too. What might be no big deal to you could be a deal-breaker to them.

Big Questions
Where are we… Where are we going… Okay, this is definitely the hard part. Do you see the move as a rent break? A prelude to marriage? A replacement for it? Practice playing house? At the very least, do you both have a common definition of monogamy? When you live together, you’re more acutely aware of each other’s friendships and social schedule.

House Parties
Are you a social butterfly or a wallflower? In solid relationships there is an implicit understanding of what’s cool and what’s not. Just because friends drop by for post-club pancakes at your place, doesn’t mean they’re welcome at the new place. Who comes and goes when and how often, though, isn’t as big a factor as your personal comings and goings. Though you should feel free to enjoy most of your single life pursuits, be considerate to the concerns of your new roomie. If you’re invited for post-workday cocktails, is the norm going to be: calling to invite your date, calling and letting them know you’ll be late, just going, or heading home for private time instead?