When Divorce Recovery Hurts Too Long: Series 3 of 15

This article is the third is a series of 15. The focus of this article is on the five stages of divorce. These stages were defined by the author as a way to show that a divorce does not just all of a sudden happen to someone. There are stages and if you are not tuned into the these stages you can be caught off guard or by surprise.

There is the thought in the mental health community that anyone who feels they had no idea their ex-spouse was unhappy, may not have been reading the signs or ignoring them hoping they would go away if no attention was paid to them. This is not typically the case. If a spouse is unhappy or dissatisfied in their marriage, they are more than likely exhibiting behaviors that reflect this dissatisfaction.

Some examples of these behaviors include:

being a workaholic and being disengaged from the family

main interest is being with the guys or gals and partying

living separate lives - different interests, different friends, different goals etc.

change in level of affection

change in level of interest shown in being with spouse

There are so many different kinds of behaviors that can indicate dissatisfaction with a marital relationship that a whole book could be written just to cover all of them. These examples just scratch the surface.

The Stages of Divorce identified below were developed based on the different feelings, sensations, thoughts, fears, etc. that occur in the midst of the divorce, when the divorce is over, and when someone who has slipped into Post Marital Stress (PMS) disorder finally walks away from it. If you haven't read either of the first two articles in this series, here is a brief description of PMS.

Everyone deals with grief and loss differently and at a different pace, most people move on after a divorcewithin 2-3 years. This is a bit hard to quantify precisely because humans are unique. The key element to look for over those two to three years is forward progress.