English: America's Official Language?

What is the difference in a "coffee linah" and a coffee saucer? Are "bag" and "sack" synonymous? Is dinner served at noon or in the evening? America is not merely a melting pot of different cultures, languages, and ethnicities; our native English is moreso a superfluity of dialects, idioms, and jargons. For example, one might request a "coffee linah" in the Bronx, but dare not attempt such a request in the southern portion of the country without a translator. "Sacks" seem to exist largely in the less populated, or rural areas, whereas a bag is more of a city utensil. Finally, one could eat "dinner" at noon in Central Kentucky, travel a few hours westward via an aircraft, and eat "dinner" at 7:00 p.m. that evening in Denver, Colorado. Confused? It gets worse. The entire conundrum has a tendency to further bewilder immigrants who move to particular areas and are attempting to learn basic English. Therefore, I offer one educator's proposition.

A massive portion of our nation's education funding is currently budgeted toward the Second Language Learners' programs, whose students are referred to as ELL's (English Language Learners). This educator would venture to propose that certain regions need to give birth to a new educational program wherein various regions of dialect must offer modified second language learner programs. In other words, whereas we generally consider second language learners to be immigrants of other countries, it is hereby proposed that ELL programs should be designed to cocoon subsidiary programs respective to, or indicative of, their region of the U.S.A. I begin with the South: ESL/ELL programs throughout the south would be "SELL Programs" (Southern English Language Learner). This might alleviate some of the confusion in this area when an English Language Learner is told to "thank" rather than "think." This educator has had numerous students who spell "think" as "thank," even in the middle grades.