The Long-Term Relationship and the Man You Met in a Bar

Years ago there was an ice-breaker/pick-up line: "Do you come here often?" That question is no longer asked, being considered an old fashioned, boring cliché. But it is my personal opinion that if you meet a guy in a bar that you think you might want to date, you should ask him just that question.

"Do you come here often?" If he replies anything like, "Yes, this is my bar.", "Only every couple nights" or "Just on the weekends", drop his name into the you-need-to-get-a-life file and move on. You'll save yourself a lot of wasted breath down the road trying to get him to do something other than hang out in the bar. If this is where he spends all his recreational time, if you want to be with him, you'll need to be willing to spend all your recreational time there, too. Or be really into fighting about it.

Knowing if this guy considers this, or any bar, to be his second home will let you know right away whether he is worth pursuing for the long term. And don't even think that you can change his mind about practically living there. Oh, sure, good sex might keep him wrapped up in you for a couple weekends, maybe even a month, but eventually, he's going to get to missing the ole' gang down at the ole' watering hole. And he's going to go there - even if he has to sneak away from you to do it!

Another thing to pay attention to when you meet a man in a bar is just how much he drinks. If he is the most beautiful man you have ever seen and you definitely would like to date him, what if he's falling down drunk? Your question should be, is this something that just happened tonight, or is this a regular occurrence?

Its easy to find out. Get him talking about drinking, ask him what's the drunkest he's ever been. If he doesn't do this all the time, he'll tell you so. But if he makes a habit of it, his list of "most drunk times" will be as long as your arm. And, he'll be proud of them. If he's proud of those drunks, he'll also be proud of this one and all the ones in the future. And, keep in mind, that to be able to brag about it to his friends, each drunk has to be more drunk than the last one. Something you want to put up with for the long term?