Cool by Cooler Than Thou: Lost in Austin

I. Orientation

There's a strange excitement, rediscovered youth as you find yourself driving 90 mph across the flat black Texas night, rambling towards three days of the best music you're likely to hear all year. You've decided to take off work (screw the boss if she's annoyed with you), run to the bank for some dough (that's what you work for anyway, right?) and jump in a car with a good friend (you don't do this often enough anymore). It's rejuvenating. It's a festival. Visions of crowds of music lovers united in their quest for their new favorite song dance in your head. New people. New music.

Something to discover, and then eerie signs begin to make their presence known: You miss the exit, your friend in Austin doesn't call, your friends from the hometown are lost in a black hole of broken cell phone. You arrive at your hotel, pick up a paper, gasp at the schedule-100 bands in one day? Who do you see? How do you see them? Where are the tickets? Are there tickets? So, you decide to get into a cab downtown with some folks from the hotel on a journey for answers. Ask them-they'll know-the badges they wear with the large black print-SXSW-mark them as attendees. Clear your throat. Speak up as you pile into the car.

"I'm new at this," you say, "where do I get tickets?"

Ha, ha-hearty ha ha. "You came here without a badge? Where are you from?"

"Denver."

Ha, ha, chuckles the cool friend with the shaved head and sunglasses. "You should get a badge-If they're still selling them."

Then the chubby friend adds. "You're screwed."

But you try to stay positive. "What are you guys doing today? Who are you going to go see?"

"Oh, we're industry. We'll be working."

And Chubby slides a book of papers over on your lap. "This is my itinerary," he says proudly. You flip through the stack of pages-panels, talks, demonstrations, invite-only parties. "I don't have time to see bands," he adds.