My First Beating... Remembering/Feeling Alone, Blaming Myself...

i was very young when i was married
i knew in my heart i should not be married
i wished someone at the wedding said NO!!
i wished i had said NO!!

i was very young the first time i had a black eye
i was very young the first time i had a fat lip
i was very pregnant the first time Jim kicked me in the belly
i was very scared on the floor bleeding and in pain

i was alone, leaving, walking away, no one cared
i was alone, walking and no one stopped
i was alone, with no place to go
i was alone, when his friends did not stop his hand from hitting me

i was scared, when he raised his hand
i was scared, when he raised his voice
i was scared, the first time my face felt numb
i was scared, when no one helped

i was scared, because i knew if i do not go
i would have die, knowing many knew he was abusing me
i would die by a gun, i would die by a weapon, i would die by his hands
i know many never say a word, even the police man who looked at the bruised face

i know many never cared
i know many do not want to know he was hurting me
i know many knew it was happening
i know i could not stop him

before you turn your back away from someone being abused
before it is too late to help
before the person is gone and you can not help
before the person can no longer fight back

if you know someone who is being abused
if you know then help, and stop the abuse.
take a stand and stop the violence when you see someone raise a hand
take a stand and stop the abuse just even call 911,
take a stand and stop to lend a helping hand

by holly desimone
remembering my first beating.....................

feeling alone, blaming myself, after my first beating.........
no one wants to believe you
no one wants to help you
no one wants to know your pain
no we just continue to feel no pain
no we just move like robots
no we fear for our next beating
no one cares to know the truth
no one cares to see the tears
no one cares to wipe the tears
no feelings
no light
no joy
about life