The Blurred Lines of Cheating: Has Infidelity Been Redefined?

Cheating is a much heard about and much joked about fact of life. There are of course the rules that certain movies and comedians have pointed out to us, like it's not cheating if you're in a different zip code. Or if you were too drunk to remember it, then it never actually happened. On the non-comedic side, there are stories of marriages and relationships breaking up because of infidelity. It seems to be everywhere. There's a good chance that you've either cheated, been cheated on, or know someone that's been on either side of the story.

In recent years, the joke of what really constitutes cheating has actually become a reality. In "Are You Cheating?"(Jane Dec.2006/Jan.2007: 96-97) Kate Torgovnick tackles this question, bringing to light some of the situations that can cause confusion within the cheating issue. Stating that any cheating can be justified in way or another, she not only points out the basics, like the drunk excuse and the "don't ask, don't tell" policy, but she also addresses two acts that actually might pose a debate on whether engaging in them is cheating or not: thinking about sleeping with someone else and engaging in online forms of sexual play.

Experts will tell you that fantasy is actually very healthy for a relationship, even if you fantasize about someone other than your significant other. But does being attracted to someone you come into contact with constitute as cheating? Torgovnick says lust is normal but an actual pursuit may make you want to re-evaluate your relationship.