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Ten Warning Signs to Tell if Your Marriage is in Trouble

By Jasmine Starr, published Nov 08, 2005
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We often stay in relationships that aren't healthy for us. Sometimes emotionally abusive or physically abusive. Many women live everyday in unhealthy relationships because of many reasons. Some women are afraid to leave, some are telling theirselves it's their own fault, and some just plain out believe that nothing is wrong with the relationship. Many women are brainwahsed to believe that a marriage is suppose to work a certain way. No two marriages are the same, but no marriage should have any kind of abuse in it. Here are ten warning signs that your marriage is in trouble.

1. When you are not around your partner you act more confident and in control. For instance at work or around your friends.

2. You feel like your partner treats you worse than you treat him.

3. You allow yourself to be treated with less love than you deserve and that makes you angry, but you can't stop it.

4. To avoid upsetting your partner, you tip toe around him and are careful of what you say.

5. You often take up for your partner to friends, family and yourself.

6. If you have negative feedback or opinion, you do not feel safe telling your partner.

7. You feel that you have to work hard to convince your partner that you are worthy of love and affection.

8. You hesitate to ask your partner for things you need and want.

9. You tend to become more loving towards your partner when he is in a bad mood and isn't loving towards you, in hopes of winning him over.

10. You feel that your partner doesn't treat you with respect at all.

If all these signs fit you then you should really think about seeking professional help or getting out. You more than likely have a very low self esteem and don't feel worthy of love. If you are in a relationship that involves the things above then you are settling for less than you deserve. I don't care who you are, no one deserves to feel or be treated this way in a marriage. There are many support groups out there for women who live in these types of marriages. 

 
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Takeaways
  • You hesitate to ask your partner for things you need and want.
  • You feel like your partner treats you worse than you treat him.
  • You often take up for your partner to friends, family and yourself.
Did You Know?
The first thing you need to do is talk to someone professionally.
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Posted on 09/06/2008 at 7:09:30 PM

 
i'm a man.. in a very bad marriage, and turned to this page for help. It blows me away to see only women comments. I'm a man married for almost 5yrs. No kids, and my wife and I live the whole list. I wasn't always that way, but my wife sheild herself away from everything when she's emotional. She was abused mentally and physically as a child. She closes up, and never allowed us to talk things through. Now we are both screaming and disrespecting all the time. She never talks to me. i find myself losing control from her ignoring me for hours, or whenever i want to talk out a issue. then because she doesn't talk things out, we never move on, and she quietly keeps her thoughts in, and when she speaks.. it's only when she is emotional and we keep going through same thing. i ask her for many years now to talk to me, because it's starting to kill me inside. She doesn't do it. I think i'm beginning to hate her for it. Never physcally abusive, and i'm sure mentally we both are - HELP ME

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Posted on 06/18/2008 at 12:06:12 PM

 
i have three children by ex partner then i meet my now husband we have a beautifull daughter together but im so sad .my husband works hard and i feel he put more effort into his work than our marriage.he never wants to make love and all ways says hes tired i just want to run away from it all.we never talk and he seems to spend all his time on the pc we have only been married a year and a half im also going away in a few weeks and im planning not to come back

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Posted on 02/27/2008 at 6:02:09 AM

 
Why does every article assume the women is the one who is unhappy and being treated poorly? I just wish it where over already.

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Posted on 02/02/2008 at 9:02:09 PM

 
i dont even have enough time toi begin to tell you my marriage probs....

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Posted on 01/28/2008 at 12:01:29 PM

 
I have been with my wife for 8 years and it has gotten progressively worse over time, especially after we were married 3 years ago. We recently had a child and then EVERYTHING went downhill. She is consumed with the baby and is constantly yelling at me and in a bad mood when I am around. I have taken on reading over the last 4 years and am back in school, her on the contrary does nothing to stimulate me intellectually at all! She has a limited vocabulary and just doesn't care about the problems in the world like I do. She has been unsexual throughout our relationship...I think we have sex 5 times a year and it is always me initiating it of course. I want to see the world and have stimulating conversation at say a brew pub, she won't even have a drink with me at home for christ sake. Excuse, breastfeeding......you can always pump! I am writing because I believe it is over but it is hard to know when to call it quits because we have a child, debt together and live in a house we rent; wh

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Posted on 01/27/2008 at 1:01:39 PM

 
why do you hate your wife?

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Posted on 01/19/2008 at 2:01:52 AM

 
This is an excellent article. I am a woman who has gone through this but it is also important to note there are many men that experiance the same in their marriages. It is just not talked about.

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Posted on 01/16/2008 at 5:01:02 PM

 
I have been married for 4 years and in the last 2 years my husband has become very controlling and jealous. Now accusing me of sleeping with our neighbor and my boss. He clocks me on how long it should take me to get home from work, goes through my cellphone and calls numbers he doesn't recognizes, drives by my job to see if I'm there, I can go on and on..... You people think you got it bad? Walk in my shoes!!!!

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Posted on 11/07/2007 at 2:11:00 PM

 
I feel emotionally dead. If I want to discuss anything with my husband he acts defensive or uses something I have done wrong in the past against me. For instance, last weekend I wanted to shop for pansies and plant them. I was not feeling well, so I told him we would do it this weekend. He agreed. Now he said he has made other plans (like help 2 other female neighbors in their homes). He said I missed my chance. Can you believe I have been putting up with this nonsense for eleven years! Sometimes I wish I would have left him years and years ago. Now I feel like I am trapped and cannot leave.

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Posted on 10/13/2007 at 12:10:00 AM

 
I am a woman who has been married for going on eight years and I have been thru the ringer my husband tells me he loves me but every time i look around he is cheating on me with other women he tells them I am his babymama and gives them his cell-phone number and that is how I have been catching him. I am so tired of thi I do not know what to do or where to go.He makes me feel so stupid and then he says I did not cheat I have not slept with no one but you but my mind is telling me something very different. My daughter loves her father to death but I just can not keep doing this.

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Posted on 09/24/2007 at 2:09:00 AM

 
To plain out say it I hate my wife.

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Posted on 09/05/2007 at 3:09:00 PM

 
All this was after the 1st year of marriage. Why did I stay in this disastrous marriage, you ask? Because of our son. I married my husband because I was pregnant with his child and I thought I loved him. Over the years, things remained the same if not worse. Being the male chauvannist that he was, I was basically a "married single mother". I basically raised our son - birth him, cared for him, taught him, was both a father and mother to him. It's like I didn't even have a husband. Then the time came when I finally made up my mind to divorce him (by this time my son was 10 yrs old and - after years of fighting with my husband - I was finally in a job in computer company). But then he got cancer. So, I stayed by his side the whole time. And I prayed. Prayed that if he was given a second chance at life, he would change for the better and appreciate everything i've done for him and our life together. I've been married for 14 yrs now and it has been a waste of 14 yrs of my tea

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Posted on 07/18/2007 at 10:07:00 PM

 
My husband was a serious control freak. When we argued he was hurtful and didn't speak to me for weeks afterwards. He would tell me to "use my common sense" or say things like "i'm not learning" or "that's so stupid of you (to do that or say that)". He would get upset over every little thing. His moods were unpredictable. But he was never physical. The only thing that kept me sane was my stubbornness to hold on to what was left of my self-esteem. I wasn't blind. I knew what was happening. Knew what my husband was doing. He was isolating me so I had no choice but to turn to him. The final straw came when my younger sister said to me "where is the fighter sister I had". Fighter. I have always been a fighter (growing up wasn't easy for me) and i've always been a fighter and survivor. All this was after the 1st year of marriage. Why did I stay in this disastrous marriage, you ask? Because of our son. I married my husband because I was pregnant with his child and I thought I loved

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Posted on 07/18/2007 at 10:07:00 PM

 
I knew my marriage was over the day after my honeymoon when my husband said to me "the honeymoon is over". Before I met my husband I was a confident person, believed in myself, had dreams, aspirations and a strong family (relatives) support group. After saying "I do" my husband was hell bend on "destroying my spirit". Everything in this article applied to me. Secretly, I jotted down notes of all the things I was "not allowed to do" or else it would upset him. I made this list to help me cope with the pain and disappointment of my marriage (and to hang on to the last remaining shreds of my self-esteem). Sample of the list: no laughing loudly, no talking to any man, keep eye contact on other people to a minimum, ask permission first before visiting my relatives, etc. This on top of being the stereotypical housewife (dinner had to be ready, clothes washed, folded and put away, apartment spic and span, absolute devotion to him, don't work, etc.). My husband was a serious control fre

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Posted on 07/18/2007 at 10:07:00 PM

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