Why Gay People Should Be Allowed to Marry

When my great-grandmother was alive, she used to have two male friends who used to visit and play cards at her house while my parents were there. Everyone knew they were a gay couple, but no one thought twice of it. My mom used to say they were "married." Everyone loved these men, they were friends and no one thought twice about their own personal life. Because it was nobody else's business. We were kids and my parents never freaked out and sheltered us from them. They sheltered us from some of our more goofy alcoholic "straight" relatives. But not from my great grandmother's friends. Because they were nice guys. And they were normal.

I knew a teacher in school who was a homosexual. It wasn't that well known, but it wasn't really hidden, either. He lived with another male teacher. When they both retired, they moved away. He was one of the best teachers I ever had; he introduced me to culture and reading. Like I said, most of us kids knew his sexual orientation, but it was never an issue.

But when one of them died, the family of the other man had the option of making all the arrangements. These men had nothing in writing, no power of attorney. And the one teacher's siblings did not approve of their brother's "lifestyle." So they banned his lover from the wake. The man who had lived with him and loved him for more than 25 years (a lot longer than most heterosexual marriages last) wasn't even allowed to put his friend to rest.

When my grandmother was a young woman, she used to frequent a hairdresser in the neighborhood. This man was married, but he was gay. And he would confide to my grandmother, who was always the non-judgmental, compassionate sort. He used to feel so guilty because he couldn't help himself from cheating on his wife. He did everything to try to help himself. Coming from a strong, Italian family, he had no one to turn to. My grandmother even used to say he sought an audience with the Pope to try to "get out of it," (Her words). But this man couldn't "get out of it." His sexual orientation was what it was. In this day and age, it wouldn't be so taboo. But in the 1940s, is certainly was.