When Divorce Hurts Too Long Series 4-15

Did the holidays bear down upon you and take their toll? Or, did you take them in stride because you were organized, prepared and spent the last few days just sitting around waiting for them to arrive? Most of us were probably somewhere in the middle.

Did you know that the holidays, we just celebrated, are often grueling and full of sadness for someone going through a divorce or who has been recently divorced? They can still be awful for someone whose divorce was 2-3 years ago.

If you are 2-3 years post divorce or break-up and still saddened by holidays, you just might be suffering from Post Marital Stress (PMS) disorder which is defined as a condition that occurs when someone has been divorced or broken up from a relationship for more than two but has not moved on with their life.

A person with PMS is consumed with anger, resentment, and bitterness toward the spouse or partner that left them and their conversation and thoughts are filled with the other person and how horrible they are. They actually not only make themselves miserable, but their constant focus and attempts to cut their ex down makes everyone around them bored, miserable, and resentful. A pretty unhealthy was to live a life that is already too short!

Holidays are notorious for stirring up what is sometimes called an Anniversary Reaction? An Anniversary Reaction is a heightened level of stress, maybe even rising to panic, that occurs prior to the year marker of a traumatic event. For example, let's say that on December 13, 2005 you were in a car that was hit by a drunk driver. The wreck put you into intensive care for two weeks with broken bones, a concussion, and internal bleeding. Someone in the car that hit you was killed.