New Years Eve with Garrison Kiellor, Uncle Bammer and Musical Legends at the Ryman Auditorium

Having spent a good share of my existence frequenting bars, parties and going anywhere things might be unpredictable at any given moment, New Years Eve ceased being synonymous with hangover quite a few years ago. The final straw, I believe, might have been in 2001 when I found myself celebrating and singing Karaoke with Uncle Bammer at The Moose Breath Saloon in Billings, Montana. Bammer was dressed as he always is on the final night of the year -- in nothing but a bath robe and pink, fuzzy, bunny slippers.

To put the inanity of this emerging image into perspective, it may be helpful to know that Bammer is a biker. In the 1970's he was an Enforcer (bodyguard) for the President of the most notorious motorcycle club in the World. Although he is now retired and usually rides on 18 wheels instead of two, Bammer always has been and always will be a biker. With his long, graying, sometimes braided beard, he even looks like a biker turned trucker... even when dressed in a blue bath robe and pink, fuzzy, bunny slippers!

We had been politely asked to leave several drinking establishments prior to finding ourselves drinking shots of Hot Damn schnapps and singing karaoke out of tune at The Moose Breath. The year 2002 was only moments away when it was Bammer's turn to sing Hank Williams.

As he took the stage and began to sing, Bammer experienced a premeditated wardrobe malfunction that makes Janet Jackson's Super Bowl flash shrivel in comparison. And there was, at no time, any doubt that this was not an accident. But the music continued.

Bammer sang as if nothing were unusual. The crowd reacted in a myriad of ways. Some covered their eyes, while others hands went over their mouths -- and Bammer continued to sing. There were whispers and shrieks as my uncle croaked out the words to I'm So Lonesome, I Could Cry. And when the song was finally over and the gasps and laughter died down, the microphone was returned to the reluctant Karaoke host. Bammer tied his robe shut, quickly downed his drink, and then after being politely asked to, we left to sing Auld Lang Syne from the parking lot.

But that's another story.