Why I Slept With a Stranger When I learned My Husband was Cheating

I always could imagine being married a long time and so faithful, until the day I caught him cheating on me. This was not just a one time thing but it played over and over again like a broken record from my heart. How could I think my love and life could come down to this. The times of getting back together and the unbreakable promises I am so sorry, had come to mind so many times. That I became use to it.

The angry drove me into the same madness. Always being the good one and being the good wife. Even when his cheating ended. It became fact that I would be leaving him. I made the same mistakes that I couldn't turn back not even for a second. When I looked at it from a far. He had turned into what I was. Taking care of the kids cooking and cleaning paying attention to me more than he ever did. I found my self making up excuses why I am late. And or telling him I am going to my mother's or my girlfriend's house. These were all the same excuse he gave me. It was like tales from the dark side. Here I was standing in the door way of a man I met in my angry and revenge. The things that runs through my mind in this moment of getting undress. Nervousness I feel his hands on my body and his lips on my back.

That for a second I could see my husband at home with the kids and having trouble changing the baby. Even in that moment I could feel penetration. I would arrive at home late without being question. Most of the time he was sleeping on the couch with the baby on his chest. I try so hard to search my mind of what went wrong. The search always comes back to me. In so many ways I didn't want to take the blame for his cheating but for some reason I pushed him in that direction without knowing. I had been talking to this guy who had come by my job. He use to always see me looking sad or not smiling and would comment. Then I told him how my husband played video games and what else I couldn't find happiness in. What seem so wrong had become so right for me, maybe this is where I belong.