Teen Runaways

A Parent's Nightmare

No parent wants to admit that there is a chance that their teenager will run away from home. Yet it happens daily. Whether the child runs to a friend's house or runs off with a complete stranger, the effect on the parent is devastating. Most parents haven't a clue what to do and there
 is very little information out there to help them.


Four years ago, we never imagined our daughter would run away either. Yet she did, three times over a period of six months. Her reason was that we didn't like her boyfriend. Not that we said she couldn't date him, only that we didn't like him and thought she could do better. Eventually she discovered we were right. Today, four years later, we look back on that time period and can laugh.


What follows is a list of steps you can use to find your child. The first few paragraphs cover the basics of what you need before your child runs, even if you don't think they will. You should have this anyway, just so you can be prepared for anything that might happen.


If you haven't already done so, take your teenager to the local Department of Motor Vehicles (or where ever driver's licenses are issued) and get a photo ID of your teen. Make photocopies of this ID immediately and put them away in a safe place.


Get digital pictures of your child. If you don't have a digital camera or a scanner, most photo development places offer pictures on disk. Get Them. Update these pictures often, making sure to have them dressed in seasonal clothing.


Make your teenager fill out a phone list of their friends. Tell them you need phone numbers, cell phone numbers, email addy's and even screen names for online chatting. If you've heard a name mentioned by your child, make sure that name is on the list.


In this age of Internet predators, know what your child is doing online. No teenager should have Internet access in the privacy of their bedroom. Have your Internet access available only on a computer in a busy part of the house.


IF THEY RUN


 
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Trust is given to my teenager until it is broken and then it has to be earned. If she wants to be treated like an adult, then she will first have to behave like one. We don't have alot of rules in our house but the ones we do have need to be respected reguardless of age or whether she holds a job or not. We have always respected her privacy and given her all the love and support we have to offer. Our kids and their well-being come first always... We were informed by the school that our 17 year old daughter had been skipping school and is now failing two classes. She was kicked off the tennis team soon after and has lost our trust at home as well. We have had to take her Jeep, phone, and now her bank card. All this to skip school with her new found girl friend who is 19 and would be a third year senior but is now dropped out of school. After taking my daughters car and phone as a cosequence for skipping and failing, she decided to runaway and buy a new cell phone that overdrafted her ch

Posted on 03/25/2009 at 10:03:12 PM

what that person alice said above is smart, about parents needing to learn to trust their kids, and not freak out and become overbearing and invasive, which only pushes away because it becomes to overwhelming with their lives. it is completely true that teens are trying to form their own identity and need at least some space to learn and grow. the best way to handle teens is to be supportive, let them know you are there for them. having some patience and understanding will go a long way. its ok to be the parents and a friend a the same time, parents need to learn to create a balance between the 2.

Posted on 11/05/2008 at 4:11:41 AM

man ... I just want to know how to find my niece! I want to know what is wrong so we can fix it .

Posted on 11/25/2007 at 9:11:00 PM

This is really rediculous. I am a 15 male and I have run away once. The reason I ran away was because of things like this. My parents felt they needed full control and knowledge over my every action, causing me to try and push them away as much as I could. And seeing as they would not leave the house I lived in, the only solution was to leave myself. The funny thing is, the things they thought I was "in to" that they were so afraid of, I wasn't even doing. They were paranoied over nothing and fueled my hatred (yes, hatred) towards them. For no reason. And what they were doing was almost as bad as the stuff you're talking about here.

Posted on 09/13/2007 at 7:09:00 PM

My 13 year old stepdaughter ran away 2 days ago. All about mobile phones. She borrows others because due to debts she has created and been completely unwilling to make amends for, she is not trusted with a mobile phone. She continuously lies abouteverything, even the most stupid petty things. I am prepared to help wih any situation because I have been there but she already knows everything. Her natural mother has given up on her and now so have I. She has one enemy - herself. We feel totally powerless and are prepared to let her go and ruin her life because she is ruining all of us expecially her little brother who is also relieved to not have her around. Is this not wrong? I have spoken to her teachers and they say she never stops talking. At home she never speaks except to shout at me (she wouldn't dare shout at her mother) although I'm sure she would like to. She has everything going for her, brains, looks, sport abilities. We are going to have to call the police to find her. This w

Posted on 04/27/2007 at 3:04:00 AM

Kay i dont think runayways should have to be sent away to like juveyy of w/e b/c its not our fault we ranway its our parents that were doin the wrong things so maybe yall should rethink who gets sent away??

Posted on 03/11/2007 at 7:03:00 PM

i am a 15 yr woman and am totally hurt and i am just so pissed off that u guys would judge all of us youth and i am offended so FU

Posted on 02/20/2007 at 2:02:00 PM

I am sorry to say but as a parent I believed my child was entitled to her privacy. I would never do anything to break the bond of trust between us. And it is because of this that she has never run away. She threatened to once but we ended up talking through it. Now shes 19 and she told me she was glad we had talked and had shared that mutual respect because if we hadn't she would've probably left that night when she was 15 and would be on the streets or dead right now. I believe that trust and respect are the two most important qualities when dealing with a teen who wants to run away. Being overbearing and paranoid about their private life is going to drive them away. Teenagers need thier privacy and it is a crucial part of thier psychological developement, what with this being the time in thier lives when they are attempting to form an identity seperate from that of thier parents. Just be there for them to support them and trust your teen.

Posted on 12/26/2006 at 9:12:00 PM

trust their children, then i think it's fair for them to check in on their kid and have some involvemnt in their life. Otherwise stay out and back off.

Posted on 11/22/2006 at 7:11:00 PM

Im 16 years of age. To be quite frank with you, I think as long as a minor is no longer dependent on thier parents, they are entitled to privacy. I live with my dad. I hold a job AND pay for my wants and needs. (food, clothes, etc.) I never ask for anything from my dad. If i get myself into a situation Im expected to get myself out. I'm an honor student, I've passed all my drug test, and I have never given my dad a reason not to trust me. What I dont understand is how my dad can expect me to care for myself AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH ME unless he is snooping around in my conversations or my room. My dad is unwilling to help me in the worst of situations. I've been at bad parties with drugs and what not and when i was in need of help, hes made it clear not to come to him. If he thinks im old enough to be self reliant and not ask of his help, why am i not old enough to be enititled to privacy and be respected. If parents have fair reason and solid proof as to why they cant tru

Posted on 11/22/2006 at 7:11:00 PM

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