Pick N' Save Hilarity

Upon entering the Oakland Ave. Pick n' Save via the southern entrance, closest to the produce section, deli, and checkout lines, I was relieved at the immediate acceptance the workers gave me for, much to my surprise, we were all very drunk and high. "Hi may I help you?" the moustached produce boy inquired. "No!" I shouted, "I'm here on assignm… a quest for hilarity!"

"Hilarity?" he was too easily confused.

"Why yes! All that which is hilarious! I'm here in search of your funniest foods."

"I don't know if we have any funny foods." Poor boy. He was in desperate need of comical insight.

"Come over here, Son, let me show you something…" I drew him very close and sneaked a banana into my hand. He stared at it. He was stoned, confused. Making strong eye contact with him I placed the banana near my crotch. I look towards the nearest female we might find mutually attractive and his eyes follow. With a "whooOOOP" I slowly curve the banana upward and I can see that he is now smirking. Along walks a portly man. So with a "WHOOoooop" my banana-phallus is compromised. He laughs and I immediately throw the banana to the ground, so I am allowed two free hands to grab his wrists. "You see?!" as we jump up and down together giggling, "now you know! Now you know how seriously funny food can be!"

An old woman unknowingly squishes the banana with her walker, causing her to lose her balance and hit her head on the corner of a kumquat display, covering herself in the tiny oranges as she plummets to the hard linoleum below.

"Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha!" we laugh in unison. I shake him by the shoulders, "Now you know! Now you understand!" I free him to go tell his friends so I can continue searching.