Meek or Promiscuous?

A comparison of the lives of Ancient Greek women in Athens and Sparta

Most of the history records we have of ancient Greek women come from Athens. Not permitted to go out in society, forced to marry a total stranger; this was the life of an ancient Athenian woman. Compared to the lives of women in Sparta, Athenian women were more repressed and restricted. Each group of women knew what was expected of them, what they were to do with their lives.

First of all, the primary goal and purpose for Spartan and Athenian women were to marry and produce sons. Everything else was secondary. In Athens, great importance was placed on the bride being a virgin. If it was found that she was not a virgin, it would be highly unlikely that any respectable man would want her for a wife. Sparta did not have such expectations. Spartans viewed women's sexual activity in a completely different light.

Once married, an Athenian wife was expected to remain faithful to her husband. However, in reference to men, they could have an affair during the marriage. It was very common for Athenian men of a wealthy and high status to have three women. First was his wife who would give him legitimate children. Second was a concubine. Eva Cantarella describes this woman as the caretaker for the body; the person with whom the man would have regular sexual relations with. The third woman was known as a hetaera, kept around strictly for fun. It was not uncommon for men to have affairs with female slaves in the house too.[1]

In Sparta, it was the opposite. Men were expected to have only one wife, but it was common practice and actually considered honorable for a man to pass his wife on to a friend once he had fathered "enough" children. The husband would decide who he sent his wife to; the women could not decide to leave her husband. Oftentimes, a man would go to his friend and ask permission to sleep with his wife. If that were the case, the man asking probably had already approached the woman. Had she flatly refused him, he would not be asking her husband. Brothers were known to share a wife as well. Any babies were considered to be everyone's children.