Raising Compassionate Children

Why Those Lectures May Be Much Less Effective Than Leading by Example

Helping your child to becoming more compassionate is most likely a challenging task. Most parents would agree that children are born with rather selfish motives and learn very quickly to say the words 'no' and 'mine'. So what are parents to do in order to help their children develop the inner compassion and care for others which is so vital in today's world? How do we keep children from being too concerned with themselves and more concerned with others? The answer may surprise you.

Many parents get swept away in the habit of lecturing and even yelling at their children when they do something they shouldn't. Children get used to hearing the lectures and even begin to drown out what their parents are saying before long. Eventually, the continual reminders and vocal lectures seem to have little effect on the children. This isn't to say it has no effect on them, as they are still learning through the lecture, however, children will be more likely to learn from their parents' living example.

Children do indeed have an inborn capacity for compassion. Infact, they often identify with small animals, including stuffed animals and have compassion for living creatures. This compassion can and should be nurtured and acknowledged by adults. The inborn compassion that children have for small animals and other children is also often coupled with limited impulse control. For example, many children will pull the cat's tail without thinking, or steal a toy from another child that they really want to play with. These actions do not imply that the child lacks compassion; they just have not developed their ability to control their impulses yet. This is also where parenting needs to kick into play. By acknowledging that the child has not learned how to control their impulses and that they are capable of being compassionate and caring in their own nature, parents can help children develop into caring individuals.