Christians in the Mist

Hillary Clinton is trying to learn about strange beasts she has only heard tale of in song, myth and legend as she seeks the 2008 presidential nomination for the Democrat Party. Enter one Burns Strider who is a fixture among Democrats and helps them study the bizarre rituals of the elusive Christian.

It's a bold move for Hillary because to learn about these creatures who are only slightly understood (by liberals anyway) will require the presidential hopeful to pack up her rucksack, adorn boots that surely will not match her eyes, dress in low end clothing and leave the comfy confines of Washington DC. It will require Hillary to set out into the wilderness in order to study everything from Christian family life and social structure to their frequent gatherings in places called "churches" in order to better understand how she can convince them to vote for her as she runs for the White House.

I'm sure Mr. Strider makes a pretty penny educating dullards locked away in Capitol Hill offices and million dollar mansions about how the vast majority of Americans live. This just goes to show you that people really will pay for anything. In the past it was the Pet Rock. Today it to understand the obvious.

So I thought maybe I would give Hillary the advice for free. Having lived among the Christians for all thirty-four years of my life it will be far easier than her trying to understand them in two short years. Plus she won't have to forego a single Washington social gathering or cocktail party.

First, Christians believe in God. And not just any old god or multiple "gods" but the God with a capital "G".

Now Hillary, sit down please. Because I don't want you to fall over in shock over this next tidbit. Not only do Christians believe in God but they believe that God actually set forth some things called "Commandments" which are general rules for living.

I know! It's shocking! God as a source of moral authority and not the government? Barbarians!