Can This Relationship Be Saved?

Waxing and Waning

In the course of a relationship there naturally are times when closeness waxes and wanes. Even in the beginning of a marriage, a difference may be noted between closeness and behaviors then versus before marriage.

So when does the change signal a need for attention and work; and when does the change signal the end? At what point do we put in more work; and at what point do we walk away? 

Selflessness is Paramount

I have read much in regards to relationships being salvageable if both parties will become unselfish and put the other first. I have read much in regards to there truly being few 'justifiable' reasons for divorce.

As naturally flawed human beings, are we truly capable of living and adequately applying this standard? How many of us truly can become selfless enough to save a relationship that is in serious trouble? How many of us truly can become selfless enough to even create a relationship which can survive all that is thrown at it, and us, as a couple?

It Takes Two

And what of the concept of 'it takes two'? One person does not a relationship make, and no one can change another person. We can only change ourselves. Therefore, if only one person is making the changes and making the sacrifices, and the other is not: is that enough to save a relationship? Or will the relationship still fail because it was only one person caring enough to try? My experience and the experience of those around me is that one person cannot save a relationship. But, we could be wrong. We could have failed at some point and on some level to change ourselves enough; to change our expectations enough; to be patient enough; to be loving enough; etc. Does anyone really know the answer?

Love is the Answer

I hear that Love is the answer, and I want with every fiber of my being to believe that. But, I know that most do not truly understand what real love is, and even fewer seem to be truly capable of it. Does this mean we are doomed to failure from the start? Is it a hopeless cause to even attempt to have a healthy, happy, and long-term relationship? Many years together does not a happy and healthy union make.