The Science of Kissing....According to My Daughter

Throughout history, a simple kiss has sparked the fireworks that have created empires and conquered vast armies. Yet who would have thought that something as simple as two sets of lips coming together involves an exacting display of muscle coordination, balance and breathing. Thanks to my 11 year old daughter I learned some valuable lessons about kissing and parenthood.

My daughter came home from school the other day and proudly announced, “I kissed a boy today!” I glanced at the calender. I hadn’t planned on putting her in a monastery for another few years. I guess those plans are going to change. It wasn’t as bad as I thought. Thanks to the day's lesson in basic anatomy, she learned that we actually have a “kissing muscle”. I didn't want to interupt her, but doesn't elementary school biology spend it's time dissecting frogs?

Better known as the “orbicular oris muscle,” this is the muscle used to pucker the lips. How difficult and unappealing the simple kiss would be if I thought about that each time I got close to my wife. Likewise, my know-it-all daughter learned (although how she learned this in biology is beyond me) that there is actually a law of balance and counter-balance in effect each time we zero in for a smooch. According to her, in order to avoid clashing heads and noses, a couple will often turn their faces to one side or another when kissing, so that their heads are at an angle from one another.

Not satisfied with just reading this in her book, she and her friends had to practice kissing during lunch. When the hall monitor interrupted them, she replied, “We’re doing research!” That’s my daughter.