Fever Dream

The Thanatos Death Instinct

They call it the fever dream.

When nothing matters but the opponent facing you. The man who has wronged, betrayed, and left you to pick at the air of defeat. When you know deep inside that you are right and he is wrong.

Your blood begins to boil. At first it is slight, dismissable, and insignificant. But like a seed it unravels itself out of the core of your body and its tenacious vines begin to swarm and infiltrate your heart. Its grip is unwavering and absolute, squeezing tighter with every breath you take. It courses through your veins and turns your blood as black as tar. Your knuckles turn white, you hold your gaze, your hands begin to shake. What was at first insignificant becomes significant.

Nothing else matters.

Your mind is clouded, a blood-red haze of fog seeping through every corner of your brain and your soul. The adrenaline blows away any shred of doubt, your mind is steadfast on one outcome. You lose the concept of logic, of reasoning, and peace. There is only one outcome - his blood or yours.

The fever dream begins.

You feel the beast of Anima inside you has awakened and clawed its way out of your cage of consciousness. You never knew it even existed, that such a blood-thirsty creature is a part of you. But you know the truth, that it is the essence of your Thanatos, the death instinct. You are no longer disgusted by your thoughts of staggering violence. You begin to like it. To crave it. You are drawn to the bloodrage as if it were a drug. It makes you powerful, you feel as if you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. You understand the true meaning of freedom and invincibility. It is the drug and you are the addict.

You turn around to find the door back to your old reality. Quickly it shrinks before your eyes while the key in your outstretched fist makes itself known. You have a choice. You always have the choice. But you ignore it and whip around to face your enemy. You let the door pass into oblivion and squeeze your fist with all the power you have, assuring the key meets the same fate.

There is no going back.