5 Ways for Singles to Enjoy Valentine's Day

Being alone on Valentine's Day sucks. Being alone sucks, but it's made all the more disconcerting by fuzzy, gushing holidays. In early February, dramaturgic images of love are everywhere. You are constantly reminded of the fact that you don't have
 someone to send flowers or chocolates. You don't have someone to pamper. How can singles make it through Valentine's Day without feeling heartsick? While some singles choose to be unattached, some of us begrudge our status. Here are some ways you can take advantage of Valentine's Day.

1. Send a valentine to a platonic friend of the opposite sex. It can be a goofy, juvenile greeting card with candy enclosed or it can be something more meaningful that lets your friend know how much you care about them. It doesn't have to be a friend of the opposite sex. I get a good laugh out of sending my male buddies syrupy cards that are fit for elementary school crushes.

2. This suggestion is a no-brainer. If you drink, gather up a gaggle of your single friends and get sloshed. Sure, you could do that on any day of the week, but commiserating with your peers over a broken heart on Valentine's Day can be cathartic.

3. If you're a guy, going to a strip club with your single padres can be rather enjoyable. It may be a sleazy, mindless thing to do, but lap dances have been scientifically proven to be short-term cures for loneliness. Well, maybe "scientifically" isn't the right word. This tip could also apply to women. Go nuts!

4. Maybe you're the charitable type. Why not go to a hospital and hand out valentines in the pediatric ward? I'm not sure what measures you would have to go to prove to security that the valentines aren't coated in harmful chemicals or that the suckers aren't poisonous, but it's an idea. You could also try an orphanage or a group home. Consider this your atoning good deed after going to a strip club the night before.

Related information
In Roman mythology, Cupid is the god of erotic love.
 
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P.S. This is to STEVE who wrote the article before me..."Get a life and ...(etc)"...Ever heard of the phrase 'The oldest one in the book'?(!) The whip crack helps less than you'd think. It's people like You that make people like us. Yes I know life is what we make it. ...Ever thought that we're also what life makes of us?

Posted on 02/14/2007 at 4:02:00 PM

I have a vision, (inspired by your article and from listening to "Love Stinks" by the J. Geils Band and "Here I Go Again (On My Own)" by Whitesnake, several squillion times)...A MACHINE GUN: for to aim at ALL HAPPY COUPLES right now, and of course fire, with the most gigantic, sweetest, happiest grin on my face. Seriously, I COULD ACTUALLY DO IT! The one and only V-day card I ever had in my life was sent as a JOKE from past university housemates that hated me anyway. Lovely. Thanks. Get drunk, Singletons. I know I am. I can't recommend anything else.

Posted on 02/14/2007 at 3:02:00 PM

Dom -: Reading this article, it's no surprise to me that you are single. Get a life and you will find getting a girlfriend becomes a lot easier.

Posted on 02/03/2007 at 9:02:00 AM

Dom, that was hilarious!!! Especially number #6! I hate most holidays. Even my beloved Halloween is starting to depress me. The only holiday I do like is Easter. Why? Because I love ham and butter cream filled chocolate eggs (not together though).

Posted on 01/30/2007 at 12:01:00 PM

I agree - Valentines day sucks. Remember when we were forced in school to make valentines for everyone and put it in their silly paper bags? One time I did recieve a sweet poem admitting someone was in love with me. If only men today were as sweet and romantic as that fourth-grader was then. I'm sure he grew up to be a bastard like the rest, how depressing :(

Posted on 01/28/2007 at 8:01:00 PM

I`ve always hated Valentine`s Day. It really sucks if you`re single, but it STILL sucks if you`re with somebody because you feel pressured to get some stupid gift or something.....knowing FULL WELL that she/he probably won`t really like whatever you get them anyway....so...yeah Valentine`s Day totally sucks for pretty much everyone. Another stupid Hallmark-invented holiday.

Posted on 01/23/2007 at 10:01:00 AM

One minute your cool and caring, the next minute your agressive. Wow...I like #5 though.

Posted on 01/22/2007 at 8:01:00 PM

Early February? I saw Valentine's stuff in the stores right after Christmas! I agree with Amy about #6 :)

Posted on 01/21/2007 at 8:01:00 AM

Dear Dom, I choo, choo, choose you to be my Valentine. Uh..yeah...that doesn't work with out the cartoon train. Oh, well.

Posted on 01/20/2007 at 1:01:00 PM

I'm going to send myself chocolates. I deserve them! :)

Posted on 01/20/2007 at 12:01:00 PM

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