Communication and Marriage

So what exactly is communication and how do we improve it in our marriage? Communication is defined by the Merriam-Webster's Dictionary as an exchange of information. While speech is a major part of communication, so is listening. Some of us may be very good at voicing how we feel yet not be very good listeners and vice versa. In order to maintain good communication in a marriage we must strive to be good at both.

Many marriages fail due to lack of communication. Make the time to talk and listen. Don't hold in things that bother you, share them with your spouse. Holding in your feelings is simply not good for a relationship and can cause resentment. Don't expect your spouse to know what you feel or think. If you're not good with voicing your feelings or fear that your spouse won't listen to you, write it down. If can also help your organize your thoughts. Sit down and write your spouse an email or letter in order to say what you need to.

Listening is a huge part of a healthy relationship. Don't interrupt your spouse when they're trying to tell you something. It can make them feel like you simply don't care about their feelings or thoughts. Or you're simply not listening to them. However, you want to be a reflective listener. Make sure you're hearing and understanding them correctly. If you think you may be misinterpreting them ask them to clarify.

You have to be able to compromise with your partner. You're not always going to get what you want. Be willing to meet your partner half way in matters you may not agree on. Arguments are bound to arise. Remember to keep your cool. Never resort to name calling, cursing or belittling. Saying something hurtful in the heat of anger can be hard if not impossible to take back later on which can be very damaging to your marriage. If you're angry make a conscious effort to lower your voice instead of raising it. Raising your voice typically makes the other person also raise their voice. You want to avoid shouting matches. Remember there is no winner in an argument.