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Book Review: "The Crack of Death" by Sharla Tann

The Second Worst Book in the World is Not Available for Purchase

By Tsu Dho Nimh, published Jan 08, 2007
Published Content: 102  Total Views: 426,466  Favorited By: 141 CPs
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Rating: 3.9 of 5
This exciting erotic thriller fiction novel is the story of the beautiful hairdresser Nancy whose life spirals out of control when she meets the exotic Roberto. Little does Audrey know that Roberto is in fact a dangerous Colombian Mafia Drug Lord. Can she escape the clutches of Cucaracha, Espadrillo and their Boss, the wicked La Madre? From the seething underbelly of Colombian drugs to the evil web of intrigue in London, Nancy is swept up in an adventure that will change her life forever, right up to the cliffhanger ending where the kindly Scotland Yard detective Garry Lamont vies with intrepid FBI agent Duane Malaysia for her favours. But is it too late?

Yes, it's too late. The author has the signed contracts from PublishAmerica, proving once again that they don't bother to read the manuscripts that are submitted to them. They are a new-model vanity press, thanks to modern on-demand printing. The old-style vanity presses had to collect a few thousand dollars up front because printers insist on being paid. A modern vanity press can collect a couple hundred dollars from the authors as they print the books a few at a time. It's a good bet that an author will buy a few dozen for friends and family, and that's what keeps PublishAmerica in business.

The History of Crack of Death

Originally, Crack of Death was intended to be a sting manuscript for PublishAmerica's evil spawn daughter company evil spawn PublishBritannica, and it was intended to be an All-British work. The BBC Watchdog and Trading Standards were interested, and quite possibly it would have gone on TV. However, the British writers that were originally recruited backed out one by one, leaving only six authors behind. That's when the instigator, Sharon Maas, turned to American members for help. The result is a Published Book that tells a truly edge-of-your-seat story, a story so bad it's good.

But then, just as they were about to submit it to PublishBritannica, the Enclyclopaedia Britannica sued because of the "britannica" part of the name, and PublishBritannica was out of business.

Takeaways
  • Having been involved in the project right from the start I can proudly say I've never written such rubbish in my life. Nor read it, for that matter - Old Hack
  • They took enough time to notice a problem with the dialog formatting (perhaps English versus American style), and didn't notice that Nancy went through Heathrow several times with several different outcomes.
Did You Know?
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Comments
Comments 1 - 3 of 3
 
 
Atlanta Nights, true literary genius at work :) painfull to read but genius non the less.

Posted on 09/20/2008 at 3:09:39 PM

 
Well heck! Why am I writing for AC. With my other pen name F. N. Idyot I should be published! I can do craptastic. Yeah, that's the ticket. A published author iz could be some body!

Posted on 02/08/2007 at 9:02:00 PM

 
I think you forgot the poor quality of the cover art and binding, the SEVEN YEAR contract, and the sloppy way they calculate royalties for those few books that do sell.

Posted on 01/09/2007 at 11:01:00 AM

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